Rebuilding trust
by MJLupin27
Summary: After Melida/Daan a relationship between Master and Padawan was severly affected. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon will face a difficult road as they try to figure out how to deal with a damaged bond. Betaed by Bloody Phantom.
1. Chapter 1

**A big thanks to Bloody Phantom for all the help and patience. I've worked hard on this story, I hope you enjoy and comment a lot!**

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat distressed in the Room of Thousand Fountains. He looked at the cascade without really seeing it, his blue eyes locked in the water that caressed the rocks. His legs were against his chest and his arms were rounded them. His chin was over his knees and there was a scowled in his face for he was considering the bunch of things going on his mind.

Since his return from Melida/Daan, he had sworn he would become the best Jedi he could be. He had submerged fully in his training, absorbing every little bit of teaching he got. He had almost perfect score in all of his classes, meditated more than ever and he exceeded by far the standard lightsaber level his age mates had. Most people would have thought he had the perfect life, but for Obi-Wan it wasn't. The opposite was closer to the truth.

He was in there because even with his new achievements in self-control, sometimes he just had difficulties to release his feelings to the Force. That day, particularly, was presenting more troubles than the usual. Actually, it was very silly the thing that had untied his current issue. It was the General Lightsaber Technique class. Master Drallig taught the basis and from there, the Master's padawan taught the Form that was to become the favored.

That day in class, they were learning the 14th kata, which Obi-Wan already knew. Master Windu had helped him with it one time he had found Obi-Wan practicing late at night. Obi-Wan couldn't understand why the Master,instead of sending him to sleep, had started to teach him. It was a curious thing, but when the experience began to repeat itself he had found out the Master wasn't only cold judgment. As weird as it sounded, they got along quite well.

He remembered that in class, Master Drallig watched him closely as he executed the kata. The boy hadn't understood why but then, the Master had asked for the 15th, followed by the 16th and they continued like that until the 21th kata, the last known to Obi-Wan.

-You went through the katas with perfection far beyond your years- the Master had said utterly calm- I haven't teach you that yet, care to explain?-

And he had confessed. He told Master Drallig about Master Windu's help, and the senior padawans, and that once in a while Knight Fisto and Master Tahl showed him some few things. As he used to spend so much time in the Training Rooms, the list of sudden teachers was quite large.

-Very well- the weapon Master had said- let's see the Tiger's kata before the 22nd.-

Some katas had a particular name apart from the numeration they were assigned. The Tiger's kata had been removed from the general katas because it was necessary a better control and knowledge of the Force. Now, the kata was learned at the beginning of knighthood.

And they had begun. Obi-Wan had watched the movements, understanding the order and significance the Master had mentioned to him. It was very complex. The movements were strong and elegant, large and accurate. It demanded agility and focus because some movements weren't accomplished without the suitable speed. Just like a tiger.

And, at the third attempt, Obi-Wan accomplished the feat of execute the kata from the beginning until the end. He really needed to improve stroke movements but memorization part was over and now he could practice and perfect it on his studying sessions.

It was then, of course, when his universe had found chaos.

-You have improved enough to be able to carry through a kata especially difficult. There are some movements to correct but your level is exceptional. I will suggest to Master Yoda to assign you a class a little ahead of this one. Qui-Gon should be very proud of you.-

'Qui-Gon should be very proud of you.' Right; and he had taught Master Yoda to speak backwards. Qui-Gon had never wanted him in his life, and the whole Temple knew it. He'd never take joy in something Obi-Wan had done, now more than ever. He had himself to blame about it too.

And Force, that thought hurt.

His sense of self preservation pain and his shame was what pushed him to make himself sparse, to make the effort to spare his Master of his presence as to not force the big Jedi to even tolerate him. He wouldn't give anyone an excuse to go to Qui-Gon with comments about him, good or bad... He'd make his Master comfortable by pretending he didn't exist. Keeping distance meant that Qui-Gon wasn't annoyed and that he wouldn't have to experience rejection so often. Besides, he had caused a lot of trouble already; he didn't want to bother Qui-Gon any further. He'd love to please his Master, of course, but he knew that would never happen. Not when he was prone to make so many mistakes. He'd chosen the alternative; he tried his best to at least not bring shame upon the revered Jedi.

And so, he kept out of Qui-Gon's way as much as possible, he did good in classes as to not attract attention and to avoid any sadness the whole thing brought him, he had come up with means of distraction, especially from Melida/Daan's fiasco. So many things had turn wrong because of him and his stupid mistakes… the guilt would never go, he knew, and again there was nothing he could do to about it… and so he had had to organized his free time precisely to lack of it. Every day, he ate in ten minutes and in the rest of the lunch time he finished his homework. After his afternoon classes, if he had them, he stayed either on the Archives or in the training chambers, practicing until nine when his curfew began. Obi-Wan saw Qui-Gon in his private tutorials and at his arrival at night before sleep time. He spent his time mostly by his own, but it was better this way. It was just that it was far too evident how much his presence disturbed Master Qui-Gon. His Master had made that clear enough.

He had learnt to apply that strategy during his first week after he arrived from Melida/Daan; at the beginning he had gone to their quarters directly after class and quickly decided it was not the wisest of things. The coldness was too sharp for him, the hostile environment wouldn't allow him to breathe freely. He was seriously trying to accept that there was only a strict academic relationship between them. There was nothing more in there, he actually bothered Qui-Gon…

Yes, it was best to stay apart from his Master even if he wanted nothing more than to grow closer to him…he'd picked another survival skill, it seemed, because he had focused in getting through his training at the best of his abilities to avoid total heartbreak; it was what he had left of his dreams after all. He'd not let anything come between him and his goal of becoming a Jedi. His sense of duty had become what kept him fighting every day, his life's purpose, and the rest would have to be seen as a distraction, as his Master was fond of saying, no less.

Keeping that in mind, he then had sworn to himself he wouldn't present motives to be rejected from the Order once again. Even if the probation was over, he continued striving to earn his place as a Jedi, to prove he was trustworthy of the title. Because he was meant to be a Jedi, of that he was certain, and he wouldn't achieve knighthood if he permitted his sorrowful feelings to interfere. After all, he had himself to blame for ruining his relationship with his Master and for directly causing the death of two people…

Thinking about all this, he inhaled deeply several times and reached the early phases of meditation. Once in there, he managed to release his feelings to the Force and finally was able to low his shields, the ones that made his Master unable to feel his turmoil.

Qui-Gon may have noticed the improvements in his shields but hadn't made a comment about it. Actually, as things where in the moment, he surprised himself every time he got to his private classes and found his Master in there. Secretly, he expected the day his Master wouldn't show. He chided himself. His Master kept his feelings out of his job. Maybe that was part of the problem, now he considered that… They both would have less uncomfortable moments if Master Qui-Gon wouldn't force himself to take care of Obi-Wan's education, as cold as his treatment was.

The indifference could be as painful as rejection, he figured. Had this been the way things had started, there wouldn't be a problem but before the whole thing, there was some sort of… of…well, not exactly closeness, but there was something in progress… it hadn't been the silent treatment he got now, he hadn't been treated as a ticking bomb or a stinking bantha… Well, that was a bit unfair, he guessed… His Master remained as polite as ever but it was just that now he drew a firm line between them…

A wall, actually.

Obi-Wan scowled.

-The whole thing was your fault, deal with the knowledge. – He said to himself. He sighed but, determined, he putted aside his thoughts and headed to his next class.


	2. Chapter 2

Mace Windu was currently heading to the training rooms. Dinner time had already passed and the night's dark blue dress greeted the revered Master as he walked the illuminated corridor. Due to his Council duties, he had a very busy schedule. His lack of time forced him to rise early to meditate and wait until night to have a 'saber practice.

Now, as he stepped in one of the rooms, he found out it wasn't empty. Obi-Wan was already there. He stopped to watch at the doorway. The boy was currently working on the 21stkata. He was doing very well. It was kind of amazing, before Obi-Wan was chosen he was just another initiate. He couldn't believe he hadn't paid special attention to such talented boy.

After Melida/Daan, he was convinced of Obi-Wan's lack of discipline and he even started to consider he wasn't meant to be a Jedi. That was probably because he saw how hurt Qui-Gon was. Both, Qui-Gon and Tahl had always said he was overprotective. They were right. He couldn't stand it when someone was hurt, especially if that person was close to him.

Unconsciously, he had started to treat the boy coolly when he returned. He had fought to control it and when he finally managed to see above his own thoughts, he discovered that the young one wasn't so terrible after all.

It all started one of his lightsaber training nights. Obi-Wan had been training in the chamber next to his. Mace hadn't known who he was until they both had finished practicing. Mace had felt his determination, sometimes frustration but had felt, mostly, flashes of a deep sorrow. It was as Obi-Wan struggled to repel painful thoughts but they remained popping in his mind. The event repeated itself the following nights until one evening, when he decided to step in the same rooms as the boy's. Obi-Wan had gone through the 14thkata. That had surprised him, he knew Obi-Wan's classmates where working in the 12th.

He had witnessed as the young Jedi slowly became frustrated because he couldn't achieve some maneuvers. He had decided to come close to the padawan and say 'if you flex a little bit more the right knee and keep more distance between your legs, the next turn won't be so hard'. Of course he had almost caused the boy a heart attack.

Since then, they had worked together almost every night. He had grown fond of the boy. As they began to really know each other, he discovered Obi-Wan had a big heart. He also knew the boy was stubborn but humble and hardworking. Surprisingly, he started to like his sarcastic sense of humor and that sharp mind of his. He also knew firsthand how much the boy enjoyed working in Force techniques and lightsaber training. Obi-Wan loved to learn, he had realized. In those days he had found out about a lot of things that spoke highly of the boy.

But he also found out Obi-Wan had a deep sorrow inside and that he was determined to keep that away of his mind. He didn't even think about it, he just meditated as much as possible and as it wasn't quite enough to bring him peace, he worked hard to get tired and be able to sleep before any 'distractions', whatever those were.

They boy wasn't careless though. He worked hard but, as he had once told Mace, a creation of the Force couldn't be mistreated. Mace was impressed by the padawan's wisdom. But there was something that no one knew about the boy, what the Force had showed him about this boy and Qui-Gon.

Obi-Wan was precious to the Force. It just loved that boy and because of that he was exceptionally bright and always surrounded by the mystical thing as a mother and a cub. It was like the boy had charmed the Force and it hadn't been able to resist. It had also showed him that Obi-Wan had an important role to play, like he was some sort of protector of the future and was pointed to be by the Force itself. But in order to be ready, he needed someone in his life to teach him, to inspire him the strength necessary to play this role. He needed to feel loved. The boy already loved the Force and the Jedi but he needed to feel the Jedi loved him back. Certainly, the Force already did.

The Force had told Mace it was Qui-Gon's duty to be that guide, to be more than just a teacher, to be a close friend. Qui-Gon had the absolute responsibility of shaping Obi-Wan's great potential and to reassure him his belonging to the Order. Also, he was assured by the Force that Obi-Wan would be the medicine Qui-Gon's heart needed; because the Force loved Qui too and very much so. To Mace it was very clear. The Force wanted Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to be happy... Together.

He used to have doubts of the pair; not anymore. He was certain Qui-Gon was shaped from the Force to be Obi-Wan's Master. His friend was a great and powerful Jedi because the Force needed Obi-Wan to be even better.

Mace knew all this. He was desperate to do something to stop both from getting hurt any further. The Force didn't allow it. The Force had given him the knowledge but not the permission of doing something to bring his friend and the boy together quite yet. It insisted his duty was to be a friend to both, to support them and maybe encourage them to get a little closer. He would obey. He didn't have another option but even if there was he wouldn't reject this opportunity to see the Force in action. He wouldn't even think of it. Never.

He began to open the door but something caught his attention. There was someone trying to sneak his way around Obi-Wan. He watched carefully. It was Garen, one of Obi-Wan's best friends. Just when Garen decided to make his "attack", Obi-Wan turned still immersed in his exercise, but unintentionally ruining the other padawan's plan. Their laughter filled the room as they hugged. Mace decided he too could visit a close friend and headed to the Jinn/Kenobi's quarters.


	3. Chapter 3

**I forgot to say that I use dashes to mark the dialogues. That's how it's made in Spanish and I can't bring myself to do otherwise, sentimentalism and all that ;)**

-Wow, I'm so happy to see you! – Obi-Wan's wide smiled shined in his face, Garen's green eyes had the same enthusiasm in them reflected.

-I've just returned from my mission. I thought everyone was out!-

Obi-Wan, in full speed, tried to mask his sudden despond.

-I'm going to be here for a while. My Master and I are grounded in the Temple.– Seeing Garen's confusion, he added raising one side of his lips- Master Yoda's orders…-

Garen was surprised by this. He also knew there was something wrong with Obi-Wan. Rounding his friend's shoulders with an arm, Garen led him out the training room, to one of the gardens near them. It was one of their favorites; they had found it when they were very little, on their first day as initiates. The garden had a single tree in the middle. The tree was surrounded by a circular wall, where they sat, and a trail made of brown rocks. Also, surrounding the garden's walls, were red and blue elegant flowers. Though the garden was relatively little and very simple, it was very peaceful and beautiful. It was not commonly crowded.

-Now, tell the great Garen everything. – Garen teased the other padawan with energy, something that was not mirrored in his friend's face. Obi-Wan, reluctantly, took a deep breath and began to talk.

He gave Garen a detailed summary of his nine months of padawanship, even about things Garen already knew: Bandomeer, Melida/Daan, Telos, his six month probation and some other things until he reached his currently situation, the month after the end of his probation.

Garen had kept his eyebrows lifted most of the time; he even rubbed his brow to try to slacken it.

-Obs, my friend, you have been busy in my absence…-

Obi-Wan smiled a little at this. He had really needed a friend but the three of them had been off planet until now. He hadn't seen Reeft since he left to Bandomeer and his encounters with Garen had been short lived. Bant had been a great support at the beginning of the probation but then, she had been sent on a mission with Master Tahl.

-Come on; you haven't said everything… - Garen pressed. When something bothered Obi-Wan, he had this annoying tendency to remain silent. He never allowed Obi-Wan to keep his worries to himself, Garen knew his stubborn friend loved to worry fiercely about everything and that was not good at all.

Obi-Wan seemed desperate to find a way out about that question. He wanted to run away from it, not talking about such troubling things with anyone. But Garen didn't let it slipped. In the end, he was resigned about losing the fight. He swallowed before began to whisper in full despair. He really didn't want to talk about it, it was pathetic.

-It's been a bit hard – he said very carefully, slowly and hoping his friend wouldn't hear his words, unsuccessfully, of course. Garen was paying total attention to his friend. Obi-Wan moved a shoulder uncomfortable – You know… I've been the talk of the Temple these days. I've received lots of lectures, scolds… I… Someone told me that some Masters began to distrust their own padawans because of my actions. It has been a heavy environment…And I get it, I caused Bruck's and Ceraci's death…-

Garen had had enough. He stopped Obi-Wan firmly. He couldn't stand such despair, such pain in his 'best pal' words.

-You're not to blame for those passing, Obi-Wan. It was not your fault – he said those words slowly but very firmly, trying to send away every doubt. – You did your best to avoid them but it was the Force's call. And do you really think a Jedi would treat differently an innocent person just because somebody else did a mistake?-

Obi-Wan remained silent. He didn't believe a single word. He had grieved their passing all this months and examining the facts he had found himself guilty. And he had not been able to fully release the feelings to the Force because he knew he was at fault. He should've been able to do something, but they had both died on his watch. Coincidence? Not a chance. It was also his fault his current situation with his Master. He shoved aside that thought, he wouldn't go there, too painful.

Garen ruined his plans a second after though.

-How are things with Master Jinn? – Garen hoped Obi-Wan's Master had been able to surpass the hard, stubborn, durasteel-made skull of Obi-Wan's. Garen's expectations were crashed by the blue eyed padawan. He'd found out what was the thing that was hurting Obi-Wan the most.

-We are not exactly in good terms right now. – Obi-Wan said once again measuring his words but in full sadness. He avoided Garen's caring expression.

Garen suddenly felt very angry. Obi-Wan had been through a very tough time, so hard his enthusiastic friend was in front of him with his head down trying not to totally break down. It didn't help to find out his friend had been alone during such testing days. He had to force himself to calm down. He liked Master Jinn very much and he thought his experience with Xanatos was completely horrible, but he couldn't stand to see his friend so hurt. Knowing Obi-Wan hated to speak his heart out, he was certain of his friend's despair and trust. Sighing, he hugged Obi-Wan closely. As he did, he noticed Obi-Wan fought hard to avoid cracking and somehow, he achieved it. He usually did. No tears were released.

Garen held a shaking Obi-Wan tightly, asking himself why was this happening to someone as Obi-Wan. The Masters always said things happen for a reason but it didn't help…

It took a while before Obi-Wan was able to break free from the comforting embrace, but as he sighed deeply, he realized he felt a lot better. He gave Garen a little smile for it.

-I figured the best thing to do was to give him his space. We just train together a couple of hours a day – Obi-Wan breathed deeply once again. 'There is emotion, yet peace' he reminded himself –I try my best to be invisible. He hasn't complained about it.-

-Obs, everyone knows how hurt Master Qui-Gon is. Maybe this is about patience, when he gets used to be a master again, things will be better. He needs to heal, give him time to do so.-

Obi-Wan's eyes were directed to the floor.

-I used to dream of a great time in padawanship. Right now, all I want is to be ten years older and knighted.-

-I assume you've been training hard, then. – Obi-Wan nodded. He knew perfectly the change of subject was delivered.

-My spare time is directed to homework or reading in the Archives but mostly in 'saber training.-

-Not many changes, then – Garen said grinning. Obi-Wan loved to learn. He was one of Master Nu's indulges and one of Master Drallig's source of smiles in the training rooms. Not that either of them would accept it, it was just that everyone knew.

Obi-Wan smiled softly.

-I just doubled the time, I guess. – he directed his gaze to Garen, happier that he had been in months – I really have missed you guys.-

-Me too – Garen nodded – We have been apart for a horrible long time… Now, to business. How is the 'saber class? Master Clee just showed me the 16th kata.-

Garen smiled happily. Both, Obi-Wan and himself loved 'saber training.

-They are in the 14th – Obi-Wan answered. Garen's curious eyes made a silent question. Obi-Wan had a natural ability in 'saber training just as he himself had been borne a pilot. It was normal to see him training hard and extensively in advanced maneuvers.

-I just finished with the 21st, Master Drallig had me working in the Tiger's kata today. – Garen's eyes had widened in happiness.

-That's fantastic! Maybe you can teach me some – There. Garen knew he had pushed the right button. His friend loved to teach as much as learn.

-Sure! – Obi-Wan flushed a little – Master Drallig said he thought convenient for me to take a class a little ahead of ours.-

-Wow! – Garen laughed delighted – Learn whatever you want, you won't be able to defeat me tomorrow.-

Obi-Wan's expression was now shining with a smile. He leaned forward.

-I, Obi-greatest-Wan, will introduce you to shame. Your Garenness won't help you a bit-.

-Keep dreaming though I would like to see Tiger's kata before sparring…-

Obi-Wan's spark diminished a little. He felt pathetic but his thoughts didn't allow his smile to stay.

-That's Master Qui-Gon's favorite kata. Master Tahl told me… One would've thought your Master would teach you his favorite kata…-

Garen bite his lip slightly.

-Be patient Obi, and if that doesn't work, remember there are a lot of people here for you.-

-I know – Obi-Wan smiled gratefully – thanks Garen.-

-Anytime. I don't have all this wisdom for you to waste it; you should know better young padawan…-

-I'll honor your teachings, oh great Master Garen. – The boy smiled teasing his friend.

-You'd better!-

Both rose cheerfully. They headed to the residential floors and as they did, Obi-Wan interrogated his friend about his time with Master Clee. Garen didn't miss, apart from true interest, the hidden mockery revenge on it from the previous interrogation. Grinning, he satisfied his friend's request.


	4. Chapter 4

Mace waited patiently in front of Jinn/Kenobi's quarters. His tall figure relaxed as he sensed Qui-Gon's huge-yet-gentle Force signature heading in his direction. Seconds later, the door opened softly.

-Hi, Qui – he greeted as the other Master smiled at him.

-Mace, come in. Do you want a snack?-

As he accepted, he observed the room he was entering. The Jedi teams' living quarters were all identical. Living room, a little kitchen, two bedrooms and a bathroom. Naturally, there was always something in each quarter that claimed who they belonged to. For example, he knew the plants surrounding the meditation cushions were Qui-Gon's, since he loved the Living Force and had an affinity to those abilities. He continued his examination and, on his right, he found the padawan's room.

The door was closed, Obi-Wan was still in the Training Rooms. He knew, though, had it been opened, he would have found a strictly organized room. He scowled, noticing there wasn't anything in the quarters indicating Obi-Wan's presence. He dismissed the thought momentarily and looking on his left, he found Qui-Gon's room which was generally tidy though there were some boots near the bed and a robe on the desk's chair. Qui-Gon relaxed in his room but, as for the kitchen, he knew that Qui-Gon demanded absolute neatness.

Mace smiled at that thought. Qui-Gon's closest friends knew he was a professional chef in disguise.

-Tea? – Qui-Gon asked. He nodded in return but blinked sadly as he saw a package. Qui-Gon hadn't cooked in years. It had been cut up at Xanatos' betrayal.

Mace remembered fondly his friend's way of art. Those desserts he would have done anything to eat, and the special salad that tasted ridiculously good, oh and that soup that healed everything. He could swear it worked better than bacta.

He breathed out his disappointment as he bit into a non-delicious cookie. He would have licked clean Master Yoda's quarters to get one of Qui-Gon's species breads or some chips cookies. Bitterly, he thought Qui-Gon expressed his sorrow in such inconvenient ways…

-So, how was it today? – the long haired master asked as he sat in front of Mace with a tea on his hand.

-It was a bit less interesting then a normal day. There were a lot of things to discuss but nothing serious. There was a pirate situation in the Outer Rim, though. Master Koth said he would attend to that… Oh, and do you remember Plo's mission to Treblun? The king sent another message insisting his daughter will marry him in gratefulness.-

Both laughed at that mercilessly. The very fierce and furry princess was causing nightmares to Plo Koon. He paled every time the Council got a message from that planet. The councilors would wait to be out of the meetings to laugh at him. And naturally, the news spread through the Temple… and very fast, sometimes…

-I started to build a new lightsaber today – Qui-Gon said suddenly. Mace arched his eyebrows.

-How so?-

-I don't know. I've been feeling uncomfortable with it for a while. It doesn't feel right when I use it… Maybe I advanced in some Force abilities...-

'Or the Force wants to refresh you' Mace thought. Qui-Gon had made that lightsaber at the beginning of Xanatos' apprenticeship.

-Will you keep things of the old one? – he asked.

-I think I'll just keep the crystals. I have a different design in mind already.-

-I think that's great, to focus on new things…- Mace said innocently to Qui-Gon, double sense for himself.

It that moment, the Force came to him and urged him to speak. 'But about what?' he asked. In his mind, someone appeared. Obi-Wan.

Before he could figure what to say, the door opened letting Obi-Wan and Garen in. Obi-Wan's smile faded in a blink.

-Masters – the boys bowed. The older Jedi nodded as response.

-If you excuse me, I need to retire. Master Rhara should be looking for me. – Garen said. He bowed to the Masters in farewell.

-Night, Garen – Obi-Wan said sadly. Garen clapped his friend's shoulder.

-Night, Obs – and then, he left.

-Oh, Obi-Wan. Come here for a second – Mace said seeing his opportunity – Master Drallig talked to me today.-

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in horror. 'Don't do this to me' he thought. This was so not his plan. Mace continued talking without understanding why Obi-Wan looked so distressed.

-Qui, he requested Obi-Wan to be in a lightsaber class ahead of the one he is currently attending to.-

Qui-Gon couldn't help but arched his eyebrows in surprise. He also had a voice in his head that wasn't his own. 'No, no, no…' it kept repeating and as he saw Obi-Wan's mortified face, he knew who the voice belonged to.

Qui-Gon felt disappointment toward himself but hided in his best ability. His padawan was terrified at the idea of _bothering_ him. He knew because before his padawan's shields became the perfect shell they were now (and how the kid had made it he didn't know) some thoughts had crossed the bond. Obi-Wan's confidence had been deeply affected. And he, himself, couldn't work through his own troubles about it, his trust in Obi-Wan, if it had ever existed, had diminished considerably.

There were some days he wanted to be able to trust again but he couldn't. He was tired of being expecting the worse, tired of doubting his feelings; there were things he even didn't trust himself with.

-Of course, if it's agreeable with you Obi-Wan- he said as he swallowed. Obi-Wan just made a gesture.

The boy couldn't quite speak right now. Not with his jaw stuck with tightness.

-It's settled, then. - Mace said. He felt himself tensed as well. Though they worked together in katas, Obi-Wan had remained silent most of the time. If he knew there were troubles between his friend and the boy had been because he had inferred them. And how was it possible Qui-Gon hadn't even said 'congratulations' to a boy who had made a very hard accomplishment? It wasn't every day you get to see someone ahead of his age mates…

The young Jedi bowed and without a word, he retired to his room. Mace looked to his friend then, who was examining his tea with utter attention.

-I have found Obi-Wan several times in the Training halls. We have been working together – Mace said carefully – He has made quite a progress in few months.-

Qui-Gon remained silent. He lifted his tea cup but immediately put it down.

-Qui – Mace tried again softly – talk to me.-

Qui-Gon looked at the dark skinned Jedi. That was everything he could do. At least Mace knew he spoke through his eyes and those deep blue universes where full of fear. Terror was haunting him. He didn't want anyone near him and now more than ever Obi-Wan was not an exception to that rule. Actually, Mace and Tahl weren't an exception either but they both had struggled to stay at Qui-Gon's side. As Qui-Gon's trust had been betrayed, in himself and people around him, he wanted to save the rest of his inner persecutors and avoid getting close to someone again was one of his life's top goals, especially if they were padawans that could stab him in the back once again. He couldn't sustain another failure. He knew, though, that the distance he set between himself and Obi-Wan hurt the boy and he despised the injury he was causing. He was being pulled in two opposite directions.

Mace noticed all this in a second. Qui-Gon used to be such a gentle happy person and now he was in a dark hole because of a beast that had a sheep fur disguising him. Qui-Gon was now so scared to let people in… Xanatos affected him strongly even now.

' _Everyone knows compassion is a big part of you, even empathy with people that most wouldn't think of. Every time Tahl have called you a big softie, she meant it. The Force gave you a tender heart and that is such a blessing, Qui… but is also a problem because, when you care deeply, you also can get easily hurt…_ ' Mace thought.

Mace took a calming breath. It was so hard to see Qui-Gon in such pain. 'Please, help me stop this' he asked to the Force. Mace couldn't take it anymore. He would try everything to bring his 'buddy' back. He decided to make this about Obi-Wan, appealing to Qui's compassion might do the trick.

-You are giving Xanatos too much power over you – Qui-Gon tried to protest, highly aggrieved, but Mace didn't give him a chance. – The decision to turn was his and his alone. You didn't make him turn and he didn't do it for lack of guidance. You've wallowed in the past long enough too. But now, this is your own decision. You can choose over grieve for losing the moon or you can appreciate the sun you have been given. When you reject Obi-Wan, you are hurting him. Do you really want Obi-Wan to suffer what you have? To be hurt by the one he should be safer with?-

Qui-Gon didn't want that but he was doing what was best for both. Even if keeping distance hurt the boy, it was far better than what awaited if he let the boy grow too close to himself, he'd infect the boy with sorrow and that could only lead to dark paths that would hurt him in return. No, better to stay apart from the child.

-What happened to Xanatos could have been averted had I been a good Master. I was blind to that I needed to pay attention to – he muttered – The farthest I am from a teaching position, the better, besides Obi-Wan made his choice and it was not what the Force commanded. I have no reason to trust him-

-We're human Qui – Mace answered tiredly – We are bound to commit mistakes, some worse than others. Xanatos didn't turn because of something you did, there was nothing wrong with your teachings. There was something about that boy from the beginning; he didn't want to

improve his character, he only wanted what would help in the field. Obi-Wan is not like that and you know it, he has a true Jedi heart. Go and see for yourself, analyze things objectively without letting your feelings to guide you. Think: when Xanatos was accused of something, he claimed innocence and disappeared without a trace. Obi-Wan came back to face you, the Council, the whole Temple and his own mistakes. He affronted this as any seasoned Jedi would even if it was hard for him. Even if you left him on his own.-

-I've tried to set a distance between us because is the wisest action – Qui-Gon said slowly, the last phrase had hurt him. He sighed –Tahl commed me just to say I'm being stupid but I cannot afford to misplace trust again, besides I don't even know how to rebuild trust least of all closeness, and I don't really want someone to get close to me. In fact, the closest they get, the most painful it turns for either part.-

Mace felt a hurtful pinch. Xanatos's fall had lead Qui-Gon to doubt who was worth of his trust. Qui-Gon had incredibly sharp instincts but now he doubted that, or at least when dealing with people. However, he also felt a flash of hope; his friend had thought about it, at least.

-First of all, not everyone has the purpose of hurting us nor every flaw leads to darkness. Secondly, you're not going to rebuild trust if you two insist in not seeing each other, and by staying apart you can be neglecting a good thing. Obi-Wan proved where his loyalty rests, Qui. At least you can trust that. But think about it, a heart heavily shielded will turn into rock at some point. You can't abandon hope! Oh, come on Qui! I didn't see you smile in years until that boy came into your life.-

-Intruded into my life- Qui-Gon pointed darkly. Mace felt the urge of slap Qui-Gon's stubborn head.

-Argh, I can't believe you! Alright, I'll put it this way: Obi-Wan can become a great Jedi, maybe one of the most powerful ever and everyone knows it. But, if you are not there to guide him, he won't be able to fully develop his potential. And, mark my words, that boy is talented and very powerful already. If you want to protect him, then give him the tools. At least be the Master you said you would be.-

Mace silently raised and left his cup in the sink. He tried to calm himself. Darkly, he thought Qui-Gon was one of the few people who can make him lose it. And yes, he loved that stubborn bantha anyway.

-Think about it, Qui – Mace said with his hand in Qui-Gon's shoulder when he got back – You can be an estranger's Master or you can fight to make this worth the effort. And, as disappointing as it is, you are not fulfilling your duties right now.-

And, squishing his friend's shoulder, Mace was out to his own quarters.

Qui-Gon saw Mace walking away and hesitantly he began to think about their conversation.

He had been hurt and was unwilling to repeat the experience but Mace was right. He had been treating and judging Obi-Wan unfairly under Xanatos' big stinking gummy shadow. That shade had been tormenting him long enough too.

If he got close to someone, he would start to affect others directly. However, Mace was annoyingly correct again. The Force had trusted him Obi-Wan's tutelage and he hadn't been careful enough about it.

He rose from his chair and headed to his bedroom, he needed to meditate... but suddenly Qui-Gon stopped walking. Obi-Wan's door was slightly open and, after hesitating a moment, he entered the room carefully.

Obi-Wan was asleep, spread on his belly. The boy was hugging a pillow with one arm, and had his right leg flexed; at the end of the bed, the wrinkled blanked was only covering one foot. In that second, Obi-Wan turned around and faced Qui-Gon and the tall master was able to examine the young face. It was the first time he saw Obi-Wan fully relaxed. He looked so innocent, so pure and so incredibly young…

Qui-Gon's heart warmed a bit at the image. He remembered Obi-Wan the first time they met. He was surprised when he perceived how tall the boy currently was. He was growing up so fast… He remembered Obi-Wan expelled energy, curiosity. He then noticed Obi-Wan hadn't smiled in a while, or at least not in his presence. The boy was 'all work' with him. He barely spoke in their private classes. He was painfully surprised to notice he had heard Obi-Wan's laughter just a handful of times.

As he reached the unappreciated covers, Obi-Wan moved once again. Qui-Gon held his breath but the young Jedi snuggled further in the pillow and continued to breathe steadily. Qui-Gon scowled a little, he would have to instruct the boy to be aware of his surroundings even in his sleep. He covered the boy and reached an agreement with himself. He would talk to Obi-Wan in the morning; he needed to really do his job.


	5. Chapter 5

The night's darkness began to fade, slowly illuminating Obi-Wan's room. The boy hadn't notice though. He was wrapped in his blue blanket and would have continued that way had not been for his chrono. He groaned as he turned and deactivated his 5:30am alarm. "Force, I will send _flowers_ to the Sith who invented clocks, stupid evil things…" he thought completely in foul mood. Half asleep, he struggled to emerge from his blanket cocoon and stumbling against the walls, he reached the bathroom to take a shower. He almost killed himself trying to take off his sleeping shirt.

Fifteen minutes later, he was a different person.

Now completely awake (and sadly contemplating that fact) he mentally prepared for another sucking day. First thing in his agenda was to run away from Hoth's subsidiary. Very carefully, he examined the training bond. Though completely closed, he had learned to distinguish a particular color on it when his Master meditated. Yes, there it was. Qui-Gon, strong in the Living Force, loved to meditate at dawn. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, loved to sleep and wasn't fond in early rising. Now, he was forced by **circumstances to** learn the time when Qui-Gon's deeper meditation would be **completely on to be able leave** the quarters safely. Obi-Wan pretended to spare his Master of any uncomfortable greetings…

As he reached the lifts, he tried to focus in not threatening things. He headed, as every normal morning, to the Room of Thousand Fountains. The peaceful place always made it easier to calm down and that was needed to begin the day. Strong feelings weren't friends of concentration, he knew it very well. He concentrated so intently on not concentrating that he failed to scan his surroundings. He clashed against something; someone, more precisely.

-Aalto- Obi-Wan whispered. The other boy looked at him, anger suddenly clouding the Force.

-Watch out, big oaf! Are you trying to kill me too?- Aalto, Bruck's best friend looked at Obi-Wan, repulsion in his eyes and tension in his shoulders originated from all the thoughts that had been running through his mind recently…

-I'm sorry, I didn't see you. - Obi-Wan said holding back his temper- It wasn't my intention.-

-Yeah, right, and unintentionally you're going to push Master Yoda from a cliff.-

-I didn't want Bruck to die, Aalto- Obi-Wan said painfully.

-Shut up, you liar! - Aalto yelled suddenly- I don't care how you fooled the Masters, I know who you are! You are a disgrace to the Jedi! Bruck deserved Master Jinn, you just had to destroy his life, hadn't you? Do you know how frightened the younglings and apprentices are? They're afraid they'll turn up to be like you! You are just like that Xanatos!-

Obi-Wan inhaled sharply. 'No!' he thought desperately 'I'd never be like him, never!' but the damage was made. He was being shouted out with all of his fears. If he suspected that was the Temple opinion about him, now he knew for sure.

Pure horror ran wild through his veins, invading him, paralyzing his body.

-Why did you come back? The Temple was safer without you! You should have a little dignity and leave! No one will miss you, murderer!-

And with that, Obi-Wan finally began to run, Aalto shouting at his back. He couldn't wait for the lifts; he ran down the stairs and didn't stop until he was in the Room of Thousand Fountains. He was welcomed by tender sun beams and the steady presence of plants. He didn't pay attention to them. He ignored the waterfalls he loved so much. He was looking the thickest tree, the one near the big river. He sat in the grass with his back against the gigantic haulm, breathing fast in complete horror.

When had he become like Xanatos? When had he become evil? Was that why Master Jinn didn't want to be near him? Had he acknowledge the darkness that had been also present in Xanatos? Would it deform him as it did to that fallen Jedi?

Quickly, he crawled to the river to see his reflection, begging to the Force to be able to recognize himself. Light blue eyes, widened in worry, examined the image in the crystalline waters. Ginger hair, same ears as before, broad eyebrows there, where they supposed to be. It seemed everything was in place. He caught his braid with his eyes. He had it since he was an initiate, when it didn't have any beads as tradition dictated. He remembered when his master had given him the first bead. He had braided back his hair quickly, like trying to get away from it.

Obi-Wan sighed. Yes, he knew no one wanted him there but it was different now that someone had said that to his face. He remembered Qui-Gon's expression in Melida/Daan and he accepted Aalto was right. He was undeserving of an apprenticeship, he dishonored the Force and surely to hurt people was a sign of absence of light.

Obi-Wan couldn't meditate nor eat right now, dizziness and nausea hitting him. Slowly, his head bowed in defeat. He rose from the ground without looking up. He headed to mess up in classes.

Galactic history passed in a blur and Sociology was a total disaster. He had almost killed his cybernetic Togruta when he left her in solitude. They lived in packs. It was so embarrassing to be reminded of it by his teacher, Master Trella.

-Focus, Obi-Wan. – she had said- I know you know this.-

And he knew; when his mind wasn't wondering in hyperspace.

But then, he was off to Lightsaber class. He loved to practice with his lightsaber but he kept listening Aalto's voice over and over again. He tried to work but every time he was in the middle of a kata, words like 'murderer, disgrace, undeserving' where screamed in his head. He had never made so many mistakes. He was covered in little burns and had fallen several times by the end of the class. That had caught Cin Drallig's attention. So, when the young Jedis left for lunch, he called Obi-Wan. His gray eyes studied the boy in front of him.

-Obi-Wan, is something bothering you today?- the tall Master asked – is not like you to be unable to concentrate in my class.

The boy looked at him uncomfortable.

-I sense distress in you- he continued-why haven't you release it to the Force?-

-I didn't have time to meditate this morning, Master- the boy answered quietly.

The older Jedi arched his eyebrows. The boy hadn't been able to release his feelings just reaching the Force so he needed meditation to do it. Cin knew then there was something affecting the boy greatly.

Obi-Wan seemed very uncomfortable. Master Drallig, a bit hesitantly, brought his hand to the boy's shoulder. A soothing gesture, he hoped but just when he was about to talk, the chamber's door opened.

The dark skinned figure of Mace Windu approached the other two Jedi.

-Cin, padawan Kenobi. - Mace nodded his greeting. Cin also nodded while Obi-Wan bowed respectfully.

-Would you mind if I talk to Obi-Wan, Cin?– the councilor asked. It seemed once again the Force needed him to assist Qui-Gon's padawan. Something had happened with the boy, Mace supposed.

-Of course, Mace.- Cin answered while he sighed, he was worried about Obi-Wan.

He turned to speak to the boy

-Reach for the Force, young one-

-Yes, Master Drallig. I apologize for my performance today. It won't happen again- the padawan said shamefully.

-I know, Obi-Wan. Do not worry about it. May the Force be with you.-

-And with you, Master - Obi-Wan said bowing.


	6. Chapter 6

Master Windu walked majestically through the hallway, Obi-Wan was a step behind him. There was a meditation garden near the Training rooms. The garden had only one kind of tree, with brown haulms and gray leaves. They sat under one of the tallest trees in the far corner. Obi-Wan, without knowing why he was there, began to play with the grass, curling his long fingers in the thin leaves. After a brief pause, he faced the older Jedi.

-Did you wish to speak with me, Master?-Obi-Wan asked. Mace held a smile. The boy's patience lasted exactly a minute and fifteen seconds.

-Why are you so upset? You were broadcasting in the Training rooms.-

Obi-Wan flushed deeply.

-I'm sorry, Master. I didn't intent to do that.-

-That doesn't answer my question, young padawan.-

The apprentice opened his mouth to talk but he suddenly stopped to hide a smile.

-What? - Mace asked confused. The boy shook his head. - Obi-Wan?-

As Mace emphasized the name, the padawan pressed his lips into a line.

-If I'm a young padawan, that would make you an old Master- he said apologetically.

Mace couldn't help but laugh. The garden filled with the rich sound, lighting up the mood. Obi-Wan smiled shyly but the Master laughed so much his belly began to hurt. It had been so long since someone had dared to make a joke in his presence that it had taken him by surprise.

-As funny as that is, it doesn't make me forget what I asked you. – Obi-Wan's smiled faded. He hesitantly began to talk. He didn't want troubles for himself nor would he mention Aalto.

-I… had an argument with a fellow padawan, Master. It's not important. – the padawan said anxiously.

Oh, so that was the issue. Mace had heard the rumors that were running through the Temple. Of course that would affect Obi-Wan and his relationship with other apprentices… He also felt the boy was worried about talking to a councilor about it. There wasn't any need, though. Obi-Wan had worked hard and had regained the Council's trust. They wouldn't hold old mistakes against him, the testing period was over. But still... the boy was afraid of messing up. But there was the thing that he wasn't there as a Councilor…

-Do you know the difference between birds and Alderaanian eagles?-

-No, Master. - Obi-Wan answered confused. Mace's chocolate eyes focused in the blue ones in front of him.

-When there is a storm, birds hide. Eagles fly higher. You have being acting like an eagle, Obi-Wan, and that could only be a good rectified your mistakes and though you must not forget the lesson, you can't live in the past. You have to let it go, padawan.-

'Oh Force, why did you ask me to be so…smoochy' Mace thought. Never in his life would he thought he would say something that pathetic to anybody. The damage was done, that could ruin his reputation, Mace thought amused.

There was no amusement in Obi-Wan's face though.

-Master- his voice trembled. -would… would I be able to recognize if I'm becoming evil?-

Mace couldn't believe his ears. At the border of a heart attack, he reached the Force and examined the boy. No, the outstanding bright signature was still there.

-Why are you asking, Obi-Wan? - Mace asked, his heart still running wild. The boy forced himself to maintain his eyes up.

-I've always said I would never turn, but what if I turn without my notice? What if I'm evil already?-

Obi-Wan was trembling as he said this. Mace expression was serious but he had a huge smile inside him. This boy would remain forever in the light as long as he continues to think like that. Obi-Wan was exactly what Qui-Gon needed.

-To turn to darkness is a choice, Obi-Wan. You are determined to serve the light and that's the most important thing. Now, the darkness can be very tricky and very tempting. The purpose of your training is to give you tools to identify and reject darkness and even if it is disguised there will always be a red light beeping in your mind, alerting you. Listen to the Force, Obi-Wan, it will tell you if you are in danger, not only physically but also when you are about to do something that might threat your soul. It will protect you, padawan. Now, sometimes it is difficult to remember to do the right thing but it's rewarding when you examine your past and see that though it was hard to act correctly, it brought you good to make the effort. So stay firm, stick to the Force and the darkness won't have a chance.-Obi-Wan remained silent for a moment.

-I don't want to turn. I don't want to be like Xanatos.- the boy whispered as talking to himself. Mace was surprised by his line of thought.

-Then, don't be. We have to try our best to think about the consequences of our actions before we act. Mistakes will be always committed, we are not perfect, but don't let it bring you down or it will really become a hindrance.-

Suddenly, Mace got a feeling… one he knew very well. A vision was coming. It lasted two seconds, just as the day before. One image: Qui-Gon.

-Master?- Obi-Wan's voice returned him to reality. Mace breathed deeply, calming his body. He was used to visions, he felt honored to be of use to the Force but why did it forget to spare him of the side effects?

-Master? - Obi-Wan asked worriedly.

-Obi-Wan- Mace began to say a little disorientated his head spinning. Though faster than the vision of the day before, it had been stronger. - What were you saying?-

-Do you feel fine? Was it a vision? - Mace scowled a little, the boy elaborated a bit nervous for talking like that to a Master- I know the feeling…-

'Oh, right' Mace nodded to himself. Obi-Wan was strong in the Unifying Force and had visions on regular basis. Yoda was usually the one assisting the boy.

-Nothing to worry about. Now, there is something I want to talk with you.-At least he could be direct with the child…

-I think is very noble of you to give your Master some space, but it's not the best way to proceed. You really should not run away and hide. You need your Master, Obi-Wan. A sheep needs its shepherd.-

He paused a little. Obi-Wan had focused in the grass once again.

-Every day I think I should have never come back. – Mace was internally startled, he just couldn't believe his ears. The boy had worked so hard and… he'd have never seen that coming. - But then… I'm not strong enough to fail.-

Shame covered the child's words… Not letting go was indeed a bad sign, Obi-Wan thought. Before Mace was able to talk, the child continued his speech.

-I killed Master Qui-Gon's trust. I was better left in Agri Corps.-

-Obi-Wan- Mace grabbed the padawan's shoulder- don't you think if he gave you another chance you should take it? If the Force brought you two together, there's a reason behind. Rebuild his and your trust. Make an effort, young padawan; don't give up at the first glance of difficulties-

-I've already tried, he wants me away from him- the boy responded frustrated. Now, that had annoyed Mace, you had to insist if you wanted to beat Qui-Gon's stubbornness.

-You didn't do it correctly, then- Mace shook his head. - Elaborate your thoughts, don't just behave like a three year old who wants his fluffy bear back. Don't keep reminding the mistakes, show you can do better.-

Obi-Wan had now a stubborn look in his eyes. Mace thought he wouldn't be more similar to Qui-Gon had they being father and son.

-Tell me, what do you know about your master?-

-Nothing- Obi-Wan groaned in response. Mace scowled.

-Where are your observation skills? -Obi-Wan sighed slowly and corrected the answer.

-He prefers solitude.-

-Wrong- Mace said firmly. The boy arched his eyebrow skeptically, not believing a word. Mace released his annoyance to the Force. 'This is Qui-Gon's clone…' he thought sighing; but then, it was comprehensible. Obi-Wan was young, full of regret and couldn't understand quite well his Master's situation or the way he behaved. He would have to rent patience from someone else, Mace thought darkly amused.

-Your Master had always been a very open person- Mace said calmly, yet fondness began to speak- but then, he got hurt and he hasn't been able to heal from such a deep wound. He tried to build a shell to protect himself. Hear me, Obi-Wan, if you want to have a healthy relationship with your master, you'll have to be very, very patient. But you have to be there. Don't run away, Obi-Wan, don't hurt him like that. Don't hurt him further.-

The boy had a sad expression in his eyes as he reflected about Mace's words. Master Windu and Master Tahl were Qui-Gon's best friends, they really knew him. He swallowed. One of his greatest wishes was a nice relationship with his master,a friendship that would last even after his knighting. He had tried to accept it wasn't possible but it only built a hole in his would have to think about all this… He gave the master a tiny smile and got an assuring nod back.

Obi-Wan startled when noticed the hour.

-Oh, no! - The boy said standing up- I have five minutes to get to my next class!-

-What do you have to attend to? - Mace rose as well.

-Personal class with Master Qui-Gon-Obi-Wan answered and then he had the saddest expression in his eyes-no lunch for me…-

-I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. You must be hungry.-

-Starving is my middle name- the boy nodded softly. He had been using the Force to alleviate his hunger but it wouldn't last for long. Obi-Wan begged to the Force to accelerate his class.

-Oh, do I remember that age… your master and I perfected a pout to convince the cook to give us three times the normal portion.-

-The lady who uses a flowered apron? -Obi-Wan smiled knowingly.

Mace chuckled at this. Then, seeing the boy walking away from him, he thought he had had enough. Obi-Wan needed his master now, today was late. The Force seemed to nod at his thoughts; it was time to get some heavy weaponry.


	7. Chapter 7

Qui-Gon was practicing in the Training Rooms. He shoved back his long hair before walking through one kata to the other in deep thought. When he had found that Obi-Wan once again had left early in the morning, he had decided to do some research. He had visited the Archives and read his padawan's files…

He was amazed; more than amazed, actually. The boy's grades were impressive, especially after he had become an apprentice, and had had good comments from all of his teachers. Generally had a good behavior though there were some mishaps mentioned; some with Bruck Chun, others with a young boy named Aalto. Intently, he avoided any records of the Melida/Daan issues. He thought he would learn things without that shadow just yet.

He, shamefully, had just found the boy had a big record in visions. He hadn't known until then. He also had found an outstanding comment. Obi-Wan, age five, had lifted a half ton rock during one of his visits to the Room of Thousand Fountains; sadly he had done it because Chun had dared him to do so.

Qui-Gon finished the current kata and dried his sweated brow while remembering the comments made by Obi-Wan's teachers. He had found words as fast and eager learner, hardworking, respectful... But there were also several references to difficulties at dealing properly with emotions, most of them originated in the boy's impatience. Qui-Gon had found 63 'impatient' all over the file and yes, he had counted them… But one of the most disturbing things he had found in the Archives had come from Master Nu though. With all her sternness and severe demeanor, she had smiled and talked about his padawan in the fondest of ways. He couldn't believe she knew Obi-Wan better than himself. He felt horrified of that knowledge.

As he executed the Tiger's kata, Qui-Gon was feeling utterly uncomfortable. He was doing a lousy job as a Master once again and he didn't like that thought one bit. Sometimes children who were going through a tough time didn't misbehave; on the contrary they made their best to not disturb anyone and retracted to themselves. He had the awful feeling Obi-Wan had been doing just that, not telling him of his accomplishments and struggling to achieve the best possible scores so his Master wouldn't have to be bothered about him. Qui-Gon felt disgusted by what he had provoked in his padawan.

Just when he was inventing some more insults to use against his own person, the tall Master felt some rudimentary Force wave intended to inform its caster of the people in the room. He turned and saw Obi-Wan standing in the doorway looking dizzy, as overwhelmed with information. Well, at least Qui-Gon could say he had said to the boy to always be mindful of his surroundings…

Obi-Wan then began to walk firmly toward his Master. Qui-Gon thought Obi-Wan looked like he was in some sort of dangerous mission and was confronting it with all the bravery he could muster. Qui-Gon felt sick of himself once more. Was that what he inspired in his apprentice?

Suddenly, he made a quick decision. Though he had claimed to everyone who would listen that he would never train a padawan again, the boy was very present in there and though they both closed the bond all the time, the connection existed and the Force was adamant to inform Qui-Gon it wouldn't change its decision about them. He prided himself of obeying the Force at his best ability; he would have to act like it then.

-Good afternoon, Master- Obi-Wan said respectfully and bowed deeply.

-Good afternoon, Obi-Wan- the Master answered with a nod.

Qui-Gon turned and took some steps towards the wall. He sighed deeply with his eyes closed before kneeling in the classical meditation position, as if sitting on his heels.

-Come – he said to his padawan- I've been meaning to talk to you about something.-

Obi-Wan obeyed without been able to mask his nervousness. Qui-Gon, watching the worried blue eyes in front of him, chose his words very carefully.

-I have been considering it would beneficial for you if we increase our training time together.-

Obi-Wan's eyes widened and his mouth fall opened. He couldn't believe his ears, it seemed.

He had caused the boy's brain the equivalent to a heart attack. Obi-Wan probably had been waiting anything but that statement.

But Qui-Gon had sighed in despair. The Force was ringing happily in his ears. 'Oh, there's no way', he thought; It really wanted this, the wretched thing…

-Are… are you really okay with this? – Obi-Wan murmured quietly. Qui-Gon inferred the boy thought the Council had forced him. He couldn't help but grin a little.

-Yes, Obi-Wan. - he answered kindly- Do you think we could work, let's say, two more hours a day?

-Yes- It broke his heart to hear such surprise but happiness in Obi-Wan's voice.

In the other side, Obi-Wan was confused beyond measure. What was happening? He was so shocked… but also, he was in the most cheerful mood ever. He allowed himself to imagine his Master was interested in him, but just for a moment. Master Yoda always said 'welcome the unexpected, you must, a faithful companion it is. Presents it can carry'; but quickly, Obi-Wan got down from the happy cloud he was. Training: that was his current purpose in life, not make friends with his Master.

-Good. We'll schedule our new sessions later- Qui-Gon said seriously.- We also are going to work in something more than deep meditation.-

Obi-Wan hurried to mask his hopeful smile. Meditation was a very good friend for a Jedi, but he really wanted to study something different. Maybe now they'd do some lightsaber training or some advance Force abilities…he tried not to be all that disappointed when Qui-Gon didn't quite suggest anything he had been imagining. He should have been used to it by now though… but even if he wasn't all that thrilled, he had learnt the hard way to obey without complaining.

Qui-Gon began to instruct him in Force hearing skills. For an hour, Obi-Wan tried to follow his Master's instructions but he just couldn't hear the waterfalls of the Room of Thousand Fountains, a floor above them. He grabbed the Force, directed it to his ears, tried to amplify his hearing radius and search for the sound but either he maintained the Force with him or searched for the sound. It was infuriating to miss his goal every single time! He had missed the count of how many times his Master had placed a hand in his shoulders to tried to relax him… Obi-Wan was fully aware that every time he let his impatience rule, the Force became elusive to him but he couldn't help it.

The padawan, fussing in other things, was not aware of his Master discomfort… As Qui-Gon watched the boy scowling in effort, he was screaming in his mind to get away from the situation. He wanted to run, to have his protective bubble again and not to be obligated to remain near an apprentice who meant a threat in every possible way. Then and there, he would have defied the Force and ran away from that boy if he hadn't known he absolutely couldn't. He considered begging the Force to change its mind but it wouldn't work so he made himself stay there with all the relaxing techniques he knew, Force involved or not.

Very suddenly, almost as a Force inspiration, his thoughts broke into the observation that the boy was struggling too much about the whole thing. He thought that maybe he could redesign the exercise…Qui-Gon realized he had asked the boy to begin from thin air. He sighed, how foolish of him. He was dealing with a boy, and a very talented at that, but he was not a Knight. He began to think furiously in a way to give the boy some base to start building from. He didn't notice his own change of thought.

Few minutes later and some other failing attempts, Obi-Wan sighed deeply in resignation. He wiped the sweat in his brow and found his Master's dark blue eyes observing him. As usual, the boy couldn't make out what was he thinking in the moment. He quietly waited for his Master's sentence. Few seconds later, his Master's eyes almost seemed to smile. Obi-Wan's eyebrows lifted in surprise.

-Let's try it differently - his Master said- I sense Master Yoda is near the Fountain you have been trying to hear. He's teaching younglings. Do you think you can you can pick up his Force signature, follow it and hear what he is saying?

Obi-Wan nodded though he was skeptical about it. He could easily feel beings around him but he had always found it difficult to identify each Force signature. It wasn't an excuse, but it was an ability attributed to the Living Force and he was strong in the Unifying. The Jedi separated the two aspects to be able to study the Force but all Jedi could use abilities of either aspect. The Force was only one, Obi-Wan reminded to himself. It was just harder to dominate an ability of the side they were not as strong. For Obi-Wan, who dominated more abilities in the Unifying Force, the exercise had just been leveled up in complication. He made a mental note to practice it a bit more.

Trying to clear his mind of any thoughts, he grabbed the Force and began to search for some Force signature that felt as glue. It was just too dense with the Force. Obi-Wan couldn't decide if it was like a powerful waterfall or a swamp but sometimes it had made him think of a peaceful rainbow… maybe the Archives! Full of knowledge and thousands of calm Jedis, that was how Master Yoda's signature felt!

Distracted by his own philosophical discussion, it took some time for Obi-Wan to realize he had made it.

-Mhgrhg… Help you, I will. The Force in this also have I felt.-

Obi-Wan opened his eyes feeling an inner explosion of cheer. It seemed Master Yoda wasn't speaking to younglings anymore so, probably, a lot of time had come by but he had made it!

-Good- Qui-Gon said with a nod when Obi-Wan commented his success- We will work on this later. Now, I noticed something that needs some work. From now on, I need you to practice a variation of the Alert-in-repose technique just before sleeping. It's very important for you to master that ability.-

As Qui-Gon explained what he was supposed to do, Obi-Wan's eyes filled with dread. The padawan tried to cover it, but he had no such luck. The Master had noticed already.

-Is there a problem, padawan?–'How many things had I been missing for not paying close attention?' Qui-Gon thought dismayed.

-There won't be a problem- Obi-Wan answered carefully.

-So, there is a problem right now- Qui-Gon saw Obi-Wan flushed and tried fiercely to avoid thinking his padawan had tried to fool him.

-I'm a very heavy sleeper, Master. I-I will work to overcome it!-

The Master instantly closed his eyes. Pain. Heart-breaking, breath-taking pain was all Qui-Gon felt when Obi-Wan claimed that hurriedly. Since when sleep was considered a shortcoming?

-Do not worry about it, Obi-Wan. You should cherish your resting time, it keeps you healthy. I'm not asking you to refrain from sleep, but to protect yourself with the Force while resting.- Qui-Gon said quietly. He had so many things to set right… His offhand training, his padawan's fear of annoying him, his own fear of failing and getting hurt again… He sighed tiredly at this.

-So, I'll be sleeping and the Force guarding me…- Obi-Wan whispered a little relieved. When he wasn't avoiding his Master, he struggled to please him. It'd have been impossible had he been asked to keep a light sleep state or something…

-Exactly. Some young Jedi get this wrong and commit the mistake of deprive themselves as much as they can from a good sleep. That's not the point. Things are established in a perfect natural way. Appreciate it, young padawan. It's a gift from the Force itself.-

Obi-Wan thought deeply on his Master's words and felt grateful of the wisdom imparted. Appreciate the gifts indeed.

Both Jedi exited the Training Room. Qui-Gon couldn't take it anymore. He needed to take a breath from the whole situation he was immersing on. Quickly, he bowed slightly and fleeted away. Obi-Wan, a little hurt and sad at seeing this, went to the Dining Hall to drown his thoughts in food, as he was so fond of saying. He attacked his food-mountain as a hungry gundark and had to go for seconds. Then, he ran toward the Room of Thousand Fountains. He needed to think about so many things and he needed, maybe more than ever, to meditate. One thing was clear, though. Until he had a cold insight on things to understand what was going on, he would continue to sneak in and out of his quarters.

 **Hello, there. I just wanted to say that there's a big part of this story that is already written so I'll be posting a new chap pretty frecuently. After that, there will be some waiting but I'm not sure this matters, is anyone even reading this?**


	8. Chapter 8

The sun invaded the Jinn/Kenobi's quarters far too soon for the team's liking. They have both had a terrible night. Not that they knew of the other's tired state, even though they were eating in the same table. Qui-Gon sipped his tea quietly, trying to shove away any thoughts about nightmares plagued with Darkness' threats and familiar heart-wretching pain.

On the other hand, Obi-Wan had a very estrange dream, a vision perhaps; it had kept him in and out of sleeping and finally dozed off in an inopportune moment. Thanks to the late start, he had found his Master in the dining room and had **to stay out of courtesy**.

The padawan considered his vision as he bit into his toast. The facts were pretty clear but still, he couldn't understand. He had seen Qui-Gon running out of the Infirmary. He'd seemed to be in a hurry to get out and had left a mess behind him.

The chaos created in the very-much-Sithly place wasn't of Obi-Wan's concern. It was his Master's frightened face. Obi-Wan had no idea of what the vision meant, but to see Qui-Gon so distressed was intolerable.

Obi-Wan couldn't care less for his own 'distance policies', he would be ready to come to his Master's aid if needed… out of padawan duties, of course. Not because he cared too much for someone who was _obligated_ to tolerate his presence…

Obi-Wan sighed; he wasn't fooling anyone.

Both Jedis were surprised when Qui-Gon's comm link suddenly came to life. The Master, very elegantly, cleaned his mouth with a napkin before answering.

-Jinn here- he said smoothly.

-Hello, Qui-Gon. How have you been?- a female voice emerged from the dispositive.

-Ah, Vokara, hello. I'm quite well, thank you. How can I be of service?-

-I've been checking your medical files and I noticed you're missing a vaccine. I need you to come for it.-

Obi-Wan saw in complete confusion how his Master suddenly grew pale.

-Tahl is out planet and…-

-And Mace is on a Council meeting, I know. I'm sorry, Qui-Gon; you'll have to be a big boy and come alone.-

-But…-

-But nothing, Qui-Gon- Master Che said firmly- I can't let you go off planet without it. It's a very important compound. I'll be expecting you in twenty minutes; otherwise I'd have to send a word to the Council about it…-

And with what Obi-Wan recognized as an unknown threat of the most obscure nature, the comm beeped and silence filled the room. Obi-Wan was in a high state of shock but he knew he had to do something. Qui-Gon pretended to be as calm as ever but if he was able to note the way his Master's hands lose their normal fluency, then something was terribly wrong.

Obi-Wan left his plate in the sink and bowed deeply to his Master.

-If you excuse me, Master, I have a lightsaber class- Qui-Gon seemed almost surprised to note that he was still there and nodded quickly to him.

-Of course, padawan. May the Force be with you.-

-And with you, Master.- Obi-Wan left the quarters in a fake calm pace but when he got to the hallway, he broke into a run that made him look like he was escaping from the Dark Side itself.

Few Knights tried to stop him and admonishing him about releasing anxiety but the running was necessary. He needed to find Garen to fulfill his plan. But then, he slowed his pace and thought about it. He'd see Garen in class at seven, just ten minutes away and he could really use that time to invent some answers against every possible way of saying 'stupid plan' that Garen would come up with. So, taking a deep breath, he forced himself toward patience.

Qui-Gon felt utterly ashamed of his lack of control. He was behaving like a four year old! He tried _again_ to calm himself without a full success. He knew his face was in a perfect mask but he also knew how things were inside himself and it wasn't charming. Dismayed, he thought how he would dareto say to Obi-Wan anything about not letting fear to reign if he was doing the exact contrary thing.

But he had been a Master since before his padawan's birth; there were some self-invented tricks that he could use… Releasing fear had never quite worked in this unique case, so he would have to do with clearing his mind as much as he could and confronting the whole thing.

He began to walk firmly but as he was getting close to the Infirmary he began to slow… to a _deep_ thinking pace. But when he eventually reached the Healing Floor, he instinctively tried to step back.

-Oh, Qui-Gon, come here. Let's get it over with…- Oh, there was no hope. He had been discovered… And kidnapped. Master Che had come to him and had put a deathly grip in Qui-Gon's arm, pulling him into a white room filled with medical smell.

Qui-Gon was about to going crazy. He could confront the Council, evil politicians, pirates, his own death and even Siths without much of a blink but not this… He began to sweat, he couldn't breathe and he had to use the Force to restrain his own movements… Until he saw the maleficent glow of that freacking needle.

That was it. He was going out.

-Aaaahh!- a scream crossed the air. Qui-Gon froze his escape plans. That voice…

-Stay here, Qui-Gon- Master Che said as she got out of the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

-Don't touch me! Didn't you hear it HURTS!-

Chaos was developing in the wing. Some of the busy healers peered out of rooms to watch the scene, but Master Che was the one to come close. Obi-Wan was surrounded by yet more healers who were trying to assess the damage.

-Don't come near me!- the boy yelled. Ah, she now saw the problem. There was a large burn in the boy's right arm.

There was something out of place though. It was common well-spread knowledge that Obi-Wan didn't like the healers, but he had never been this…

-Aaaaah! I said don't touch it! Stay way!-

Difficult.

-Obi-Wan, it will hurt until we treat it, you know that- Master Che said- at least let me see it-

Vokara then saw, a bit amused, that Padawan Muln was unceremoniously spread on a chair, rolling with laughter and having major troubles to grab some air.

-No! I won't enter there alone!-

Comprehension raised the Healer's brow and she nodded to the boy knowingly.

-Come, _fortunately,_ your Master is here-

Vokara chuckled when the padawan's resistance broke into some concerned expression but as soon as she opened the door though, the boy transformed into the vivid image of the difficult patient. Amused, she thought the boy was an award deserving actor; the padawan had to rethink his true calling…

-Sit next to your Master- she said. As if it was needed. She placed some stairs next to the bed to help the boy on his way up.

Qui-Gon was stunned. Why would they attend the boy in the same room as his?

-I don't want the green liquid, it always feels like burns in my burning- Obi-Wan said tensely, his left arm touching Qui-Gon's right one.

-I'm sorry, young one. We have to clean the wound or the bacta won't work.-

Another healer came in and prepared to attend the boy. Every time the healer came near, the boy would flinch and groan, tense his jaw and get closer to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon was now scowling, as Master Che had the syringe in her hand but then something else caught his attention. When the other healer touched his padawan's arm with the cleaning solution, Obi-Wan quickly reached Qui-Gon's hand and putted it in a deathly grip... And Qui-Gon's brain stuck.

He swallowed as he felt the boy's dwarfed hand in his huge paw and looking down, he studied the slender yet strong hand that was so funny compared to his. It just looked too small. The boy continued to groan but for him, the world had stopped.

He couldn't describe what he was feeling, there were so many things that threat to overwhelm him... He smiled a little at seeing that Obi-Wan couldn't quite cover his hand, but squished the fingers he was able to grasp. He almost didn't feel the cotton cleaning his skin and didn't pay attention to the needle coming frightfully close to him. His gratefulness toward the boy was too strong to think of anything else.


	9. Chapter 9

Qui-Gon Jinn was in the Training Chambers watching intently his padawan's work. Obi-Wan was in Meditation Position. He wasn't meditating though. He was scowling with his jaw and hands tense and a firm look in his eyes, as daring the glass cups in front of him to do anything against his will. Siri Tachi was near his padawan with a similar demeanor, her face red with effort.

Few hours earlier, Master Gallia had come to him to ask for his and Obi-Wan's company in her padawan's exercise; Force control exercise and by so, concentration.

When Qui-Gon agreed, Obi-Wan had despaired when thinking about an exercise in front of a Council member; probably another test. Obi-Wan would have loved to be able to make his Master proud but he settled to not embarrassing him. That would be a good enough accomplishment; he was convinced that it was nearly impossible to do well in an exercise proposed by a Councilor.

It hadn't been so bad though. The exercise consisted in elevate with the Force some glass cups and build a pyramid with them. The cups, once lifted, couldn't touch the floor again so two pyramids were carefully floating in the air.

Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan breathed deeply, tensing his fingers a little further before lifting another cup to add it to his large piece of work. Qui-Gon was impressed. It seemed Obi-Wan had been working on something similar because, though he was doing a big effort to control the objects; his pyramid was solid, well ensemble. Padawan Tachi's, for instance, was trembling and had less cups in the air though she had had a great beginning.

Qui-Gon had agreed to this for several purposes. It helped him evaluate Obi-Wan's progress, but most importantly, his reactions. Didn't matter if his padawan did or didn't perform satisfactorily, he would be able to see if he acted out of arrogance and anger or out humbleness. He remembered Mace's words about impartial judgment, he'd do just that.

But being fair, what happened in the Healing Ward had to count for something. Though it had been a rather unwise action, he knew Obi-Wan had deliberately gotten hurt to give him some company. His padawan hadn't said a word about the whole episode but such compassion could only be a good sign.

He had reached an inner agreement. Teaching did not mean closeness. Thousands of functional teams worked just fine with a professional relationship and if he was stern with the boy, it would have to give a successful knighting, right? He only needed to decide if Obi-Wan really was Jedi material... Let's rephrase that, he needed to know if the training wouldn't backfire into a Dark-Force-user creation. It was an awful line of thought, but that was just how things were.

Bringing his mind to the here and now, he noticed Obi-Wan had only six cups left. His padawan had just added one more to his pyramid when padawan Tachi began to really have problems holding her own. She was trying hurriedly to bring back together the sections when she suddenly spoke.

-Wait, are those sandwiches?-

-Oh-Force-WHERE?!- Obi-Wan shouted in cheer.

It had been done. One second, four words and Obi-Wan's focus shattered; an uproar reverberated in the room and Obi-Wan's pyramid laid crushed on the floor. Not a single cup survived. Obi-Wan watched wide-eyed all the broken glass in front of him, hours of effort wasted.

Qui-Gon, who had been paying attention to the scene (a bit amused at the beginning), was now alarmed at the change in Obi-Wan's expression. It was his worst nightmare coming true. Anger tensed his posture, face turned red and jaw tightened. The boy turned to face Padawan Tachi, who had a smug expression, mocking his fellow padawan.

-That was the most vile, pathetic, undignified…!-

-PADAWAN KENOBI! - Qui-Gon interrupted with a thunder voice that filled the room and caught everyone's attention. He stepped forward and Obi-Wan flinched as if he wanted to make himself smaller.- Your outburst is unbecoming for a Jedi. Do not blame your failures on others. Padawan Tachi found a weakness and putted to good use. It was your own fault to get distracted. Is shameful that you allowed yourself such a reaction-

The whole Chamber was deathly silent, every single Jedi watching the scene. To be scolded in public was humiliating; it was like the problem was so big that it couldn't wait to be addressed, especially if the reproach was so strongly made.

Obi-Wan was trembling. He had never ever been scolded like that. When he reacted, he bowed deeply to Qui-Gon and then to Siri who was paralyzed in the floor.

-M-my apologies, Padawan Tachi- he whispered. Siri nodded promptly. She hadn't taken seriously Obi-Wan's outburst. Knowing him as she did, she had actually been expecting it, but she would have never thought it would provoke such reaction from Master Jinn.

Master Gallia thought it was enough. Sadly, she had found what she had been looking for. Siri needed to work more in this kind of Force abilities rather than her loved and precocious lightsaber skills but she felt heartbroken by the other team. She had hoped differently.

-My padawan and I are very grateful for your help- she said to the other team- I believe we all have learned enough for today.-

Qui-Gon nodded once and before he could do anything, Obi-Wan bowed and retired quickly. As the padawan passed near Master Gallia, there was something that caught her attention. She wasn't sure if there was horror or despair in Obi-Wan's face. She was pretty sure though that she had seen unshed tears in the padawan's eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

Mace Windu clipped his lightsaber to his hip while he whistled happily to himself. He rarely whistled but he was feeling exceptionally cheerful. Once the Council meaning had been over, he had checked his comm link and found a message from the Healers. Qui-Gon had to get some vaccine… that meant that if someone wasn't there to rescue the solemnly scared-out-of-his-bones Master Jinn, havoc would unravel on the Healer's Wing and his friend would be unsettled for hours.

Personally, Mace didn't have issues with healer's visits, nor did Qui-Gon usually have, except when it came to needles. That was entirely another matter. If he began to count how many times a youngling-aged Qui-Gon had kicked, bit, screamed and ran his way out of a needle's presence he would be on fingers and toes and he would have to borrow someone else's to make it.

Either Mace or Tahl made sure to accompany him so Qui-Gon wouldn't have to face it all alone. Normally, Mace would use this kind of thing as teasing material but it was a very delicate issue for his friend. Mace didn't care if Qui-Gon became the Great Master, he would come to his aid against those metal 'beasts' and would throttle anyone foolish enough as to make a comment on Qui-Gon's reaction on the matter. The presence of the fear didn't make his friend any less Jedi; on the contrary, a real Jedi faced the problem just as his friend did. When accompanied.

The thing was that, as he realized he hadn't been able to attend and Tahl was off planet, he had hurried to get to the Healer's Wing but then, Vokara had given him the good news.

Obi-Wan was the one who make it to the Healers.

The boy managed to be present in the room and Qui-Gon had been stunned enough as to not put resistance to the needle. The Force was working indeed.

Maybe he would hunt down Qui-Gon just to give him grief. He would ask 'So, you allowed Master Che to inject you? Just like that? How so?' And then keep the image of Qui-Gon's face for a late laughing session. It was really a very good day;he would even have time to an afternoon 'saber practice.

He was merrily walking toward the Training chambers when he had to suddenly stop just before someone Force-aid ran in a blur out of the Salle. Stunned, he watched as another figure left the place just as quickly though in a different direction.

What the…?! What was it with young ones and lack of manners? Padawans this days, he snarled…

Suddenly another figure bumped against him.

-Oh, Mace, I'm sorry. I didn't see you…-

-Not to worry, Adi. But what is it about running today?- he asked now a bit bemused.

Adi seemed very battered.

-An exercise between Obi-Wan and Siri ended up in Obi-Wan losing his temper. I have never seen a stronger scold that the one Qui-Gon gave him. They both were quite upset at the end of it all-

Mace sighed, taking a hand to his face. No way, the truce didn't even last a whole morning.

-All right, I'll take care of it. Thanks, Adi.-

The other Master nodded and walked away. Mace then went to find Master Yoda. They had had to postpone their plans for lack of mutual free time but they would have to make some right now. He felt something in the Force. He had been expecting it for some time and finally, he felt it coming: a Shatter Point. They had been holding in an unstable balance but now, it would define itself. The Force showed him two possible scenarios: Either Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan managed to work things up or they would fall apart, the bond growing cold until breaking and the whole universe would be doomed.

It was not a joke, there was no drama or sarcasm; the danger was real.


	11. Chapter 11

**Dear Guest (From chap 9): thank you so much for giving me my first comment in here, you made my day. Here you have a new thing to read, I hope you enjoy it. I'd love to hear from you again.**

Master Yoda was sitting on a rock near the entrance of the Room of the Thousand Fountains. He sat crossed-legged with his gimmer stick resting on his knees and he was quietly humming to himself. 'Beautiful the flowers are. Feeling happy they are today' the Master thought.

Yoda's pointed ears twitched merrily at hearing some younglings laughing near the trees that were also feeling quite cheerful at the moment. It didn't matter who came and gardened, the plants were never happier than when Qui-Gon tended to them. Qui-Gon was very strong in the Living Force and as he was so caring, he had learned to love every life form since a young age just because they were a manifestation of the Force. Qui-Gon had a particularly soft spot for younglings and plants. Younglings were full of living Force and innocence; the plants were great listeners, always there for him when needed. It was the most sacred tradition to spend hours in the gardens when he was in the Temple; but he did it alone. As soon as someone entered his gardening territory, he would make up a fancy excuse and flew away as fast as he could without seeming disrespectful.

Then, Mace said Obi-Wan loved this Chamber and by so, it completed the requirements to make the perfect place for an exercise of this kind. The large place would be great for a good bonding trap. Master Yoda closed his eyes and inhaled the rich air.

-Master Yoda- a voice sounded above him.

The Master opened his green eyes to found the huge image of Mace Windu in front of him. Amused, Yoda noticed the usual calmness of his was absent.

-Feel the plant's happiness you should. Calm you need to be, confront a hard moment they will.-

-Yes, Master- Mace breathed deeply, closing his eyes and releasing his anxiety to the Force.

-Talk to Obi-Wan you did? - The ancient Master asked.

-Yes. He is devastated. He said he had failed in Qui-Gon's presence and lost the little trust that still remained, all in a second. I do believe that what hurts him the most is that Qui-Gon thought he acted out of pride when all he wanted was to do well in front of his Master. At least, that's what he implied.-Mace said with a worried frown.

-Beautiful love is and all beautiful things delicate are- Mater Yoda said blinking slowly.

-Qui-Gon refrains from talking to me- Mace continued, crossing his arms over his chest and releasing his frustration to the Force for what seemed the fifth time in the current minute.

-Time give him and come to you he will. His confident you are.-

Mace decided not to make a comment. Qui-Gon had closed himself so much that Mace had to guess most of the time and confide that he had inferred things correctly. Also, he kept thinking about the way Obi-Wan refrained to cry. Unshed tears had been in his eyes and yet he refrained to let them run. A Jedi should always acknowledge his feelings to deal with them properly and by so, achieve calmness once again. Shame on one's feelings wasn't healthy and grief was absolutely natural.

Both Masters turned at the same time toward the door. It was being slowly opened. Obi-Wan entered with a serious expression and shoulders down. He did his best and yet the Masters noticed the sadness in his eyes. It was the only sign though; Obi-Wan had heavily shielded himself.

-Greetings, Master. Were you searching for me? - He said with a courteous bow.

-Hmmghm too tall you have become, Obi-Wan- Master Yoda muttered and…

SMACK!

-Ooow!- Obi-Wan yelled jumping on one foot, a hand rubbing his ankle and smile on his face. He almost considered an honor to be impaired by that mystical meant-to-hit-Jedi weapon.

Once Obi-Wan's pain receded, he putted a knee to the floor to be closer to the green Master's height. A terribly amused expression graced his face.

-I will remember the wisdom imparted by your gimmer stick, Master Yoda- the padawan said with a cheeky grin. Both Masters took joy at seeing the youngster a little happier.

Master Yoda chuckled and his three fingered hand caressed Obi-Wan's head. He smiled mischievously to the boy in front of him; he felt like 'imparting more wisdom'. His victim never saw it coming.

SMACK!

Mace didn't yell, though barely. He set up to rubbing his sore shin and contemplate Obi-Wan laughing his head off. How was it that this boy laughed and the Force would just make a joyful dance? It was just as if the Force found cheer in Obi-Wan's happiness.

-Can I borrow your stick for my birthday, Master?- Obi-Wan said when he got some air back into his lungs. Qui-Gon, who had just arrived, was right on time to hear Master Yoda's amused chuckle.

-Let you, I might- he said and turned to face the new comer, a smile was still illuminating his wrinkled face- Glad to see you, we are Qui-Gon-

Qui-Gon settled to a deep bow to the three of them and, before Yoda had a change to move his well-loved gimmer stick, he putted a knee on the floor. Yoda was not amused by the impish look of the long haired Jedi.

-Hmmghm on your guard you should be…- the tiny Jedi muttered twitching his ears as a mocking threat. Of course it made Obi-Wan crack a smile out of his suddenly grave expression.

The three Jedi stared to Yoda expectantly. The ancient Master chuckled amused before begin to walk away slowly.

-Do an exercise, we will. Focus you must remain as important this is. Master Windu, instructions will give.-

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon almost broke their necks while turning around to look at Mace, both confused and uncomfortable. They found the Korun Master making a scrutiny to the inner pockets of his robe before emerging victorious a moment after. A piece of cloth now rested on his hand.

-Now, you first Obi-Wan- Mace whispered as he tied the cloth around the boy's eyes. Obi-Wan scowled at this, but Mace didn't mind.- From now on, you will behave as if you had been born blind. Not an image has come to your mind because your eyes had not been able to show it to you. You have no idea of what colors are, nor faces or how to read. There's nothing but what your touch and your other senses can tell you.-

Mace gave Qui-Gon a significant look.

-But, don't feel so down Obi-Wan, the Force has deemed worthy to give you a guide who can tell you where to walk, the shape of things, what plants are and who are walking near you. You will only know what your Master tells you; for you will only use the Force bond you share with him-

Obi-Wan's scowled only deepen more as he listened closely to this but all the thoughts running crazy in his head were unnamed as his lips remained closed in a firm line. Next to him, Qui-Gon had narrowed his eyes but he too refrained from talking.

Mace felt as he had won some Galaxy War all by himself.

-Qui-Gon, you will take Obi-Wan to wherever Master Yoda had gone to- Mace said happily- You will alert of the things that could make him trip, identify for him the people you encounter, describe the shape and color of rocks; anything you would tell to a blind person who is in this Room for the first time. Now, you can begin walking the trail that takes to the river.- seeing that both Jedi remained immobilized in front of him suddenly ran his patience reserves out.- what are you waiting for, move it! Waiting won't make Master Yoda any younger!-

That seemed to do the trick.

-Come along, padawan- Qui-Gon muttered, sending the boy a furtive look. Obi-Wan responded by rising to his feet and orientating himself towards his Master. It was impossible to tell who of the pair was more uncomfortable with the infamous exercise.

Obi-Wan's mind was crossed by so many thoughts in so few seconds that he was overwhelmed by it. Why did he have to put up by this? Couldn't he just be alone to feel miserable? What were Master Windu and Yoda thinking? And why in the blessed galaxy the Force had gone silent on him?

This was the most confusing things of all and also the most painful.

The Force was also against him, it seemed.

He was being downright melodramatic, he chastened himself. It wasn't that the Force had been taken from him, he could still feel its presence, but it was absolutely quiet, as if playing by Master Windu's rules. Obi-Wan's jaw tightened. He wasn't sure of how to feel about this, and of course, so many doubts just lead him to nervousness. 'This is just beautiful' he thought darkly, drying his sweaty hands on his inner tunic.

Obi-Wan heard his Master's steps getting away from him and his jaw tightened even more. How hard! The Force wasn't talking to him, neither was his Master and still he had to walk with him. He was hand-tied. Downhearted, he bowed his head and gave a hesitant step. Then, slowly, and almost without raising his foot, he gave another one. He inhaled sharply as he slipped just a bit, feeling a bit more terrible with every second that went by. He kept walking though. There was a duty to fulfill.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

'How could Mace do something like this?' Qui-Gon thought as he held a branch for Obi-Wan to pass by. 'No, no, no; let's rephrase that. Only Mace could do something like this'

Actually, he wasn't that mad at Mace, though he wanted to be. He was upset to be on a situation that had required the Council's intervention; or rather his friend's, really. Contrary to everyone's believe, he didn't enjoy it when he had to do something against the Council's wishes but, when needed, he did what he must. Qui-Gon sighed tiredly. Blaming the situation on someone wouldn't help, but he was just so wear out by all of it that when he had found something to distract himself, he had used it.

He couldn't believe he presented himself as a Jedi Master.

Once again, Qui-Gon sighed tiredly as he guided Obi-Wan to the bridge. His padawan didn't deserve this. Obi-Wan's mistakes in Melida/Daan had been serious, but he had a big fuss over it too. Qui-Gon knew deep down that he had been waiting for the boy to make a mistake and when it appeared, the hell had gone lose.

It would have been better if he hadn't become involved with the boy at all, he thought once again. He shivered at the loneliness and nervousness he was feeling through the bond. He knew he was hurting Obi-Wan and that could be very troublesome not only for himself and the boy. Everything was connected, and this affected far more aspects that he wanted to acknowledge. And Force forbids this to affect Obi-Wan's future relations with his own padawans.

This was why he didn't want another padawan, he scowled moodily. His inability to teach plus the boy's flaws was a ticking bomb…

The Force came to him in a hurry, Qui-Gon got chicken skin by the impetuosity of the warning and, without thinking, he just let himself to be guided by the Force. Without himself fully realizing what was happening, he surrounded Obi-Wan's chest with his arms and pulled him back to the bridge he had slipped off of. They fell hard on the wooden surface.

-Obi-Wan?- Qui-Gon asked breathlessly to the boy in his arms.

A horror expression was frozen in Obi-Wan's face, his mouth opened in a soundless scream.

-Breath, Obi-Wan- Qui-Gon said tightening his arms around his padawan- in and out, feel the fear, release it now.-

Qui-Gon looked around him. No one near... then his eyes caught Mace who was standing above them on a near cliff. His face was dead serious. Qui-Gon froze suddenly feeling as if someone had switched on a light inside his head. 'There is no one else around. If I don't guide Obi-Wan he could truly Fall; if I'm not here, he would be lost.' Qui-Gon's eyes shut in realization and mournfulness.

-I'm here, Obi-Wan. Your Master won't let you get hurt- he whispered to the boy in his arms. 'I won't fail you, young one' Qui-Gon promised to himself.

Obi-Wan's thoughts seemed to make a click at hearing this. He swallowed and Qui-Gon felt the Force soothing the boy. A calmed voice made it to the Master's ears, who was surprised by it.

-I'm fine, Master. Shall we continue?- the boy asked in full serenity.

-Yes, my padawan-


	12. Chapter 12

-Hmmgh, went well did it?- Yoda observed as Obi-Wan removed the cloth from his eyes- Have fun did you?-

-We started poorly, I'm afraid- Qui-Gon stated calmly, kneeling in front of the green Master's relaxed demeanor.

Obi-Wan refrained from commenting. After the bridge episode, Qui-Gon had directed him with 'don't touch the plant on your right, its thorns are poisonous' and would gently pull him away from the hazards. It had been comforting to hear his Master talking. He cherished his Master's presence, but even more, his voice. It was nice to know he was worth his Master's verbal wisdom, for he was a quiet man.

He preferred to keep that to himself, of course.

-Hmmgh, your turn it is now, Qui-Gon- Yoda said, noticing Obi-Wan's silence..

Qui-Gon wrapped the cloth around his eyes in a swift movement and stood as he waited for Obi-Wan's command. His tall figure was not quite relaxed but he remained still, listening closely to his surroundings and preparing for the upcoming challenge.

Next to the tall Master, Obi-Wan was releasing his anxiety and as he opened his eyes, he found Master Yoda watching him closely.

-Fear not, young one. Master Windu hard to find will not be- the great Master said gently. Of course the first sentence was the real message.

Apprehensively, Obi-Wan turned to his Master trying to come up with the best course of action. Very slowly, he reached for Qui-Gon's huge hand and hesitantly put it on his shoulder.

He tried not to think how good that felt as they began to walk.

The padawan sweated as he decided what to do, his Master soundlessly following him out of the bushy place Master Yoda had taken residence.

'Oh Force, please don't let him trip' the padawan thought forlorn, struggling up the hill because of the mischievous slipping rocks. He paid close attention to his Master; there was no way he would let him get hurt. Not in his watch.

Finally, they reached the path once again and Obi-Wan stopped walking. Now, where should they head to?

'Well' Obi-Wan though as he tightened his jaw and lips along with it. 'First things first. Find Master Windu!'

He concentrated for a bit trying to set apart the Force signature he needed from the whole lot he could feel. He emerged victorious and smiled at his tiny triumph.

-What are you cheering for?- Qui-Gon's voice surprised him.

-I found a clue of Master Windu´s whereabouts- Obi-Wan stopped talking, suddenly self-conscious. Had he taken too long again? Probably. Of course his Master was right, he had nothing to celebrate.

As they reassumed walking, Obi-Wan was thinking hard on what to do. 'Talk, not talk; that's the question' the padawan smiled sardonically. Unexpectedly, when they were walking around a pond, Obi-Wan spotted a councilor approaching them.

-Master Mundi is coming- he said to Qui-Gon and bowed. The cerean Master nodded graciously.

-Padawan Kenobi, Qui-Gon; how nice to see you- Qui-Gon nodded as well.

-Master Mundi, a pleasure to hear.- the councilor passed his eyes between the team and grinned.

-I think I'll see you both later…- Master Mundi bowed smiling and retired quickly.

Obi-Wan was perplexed. Why approach them to leave right away? There was no say with Jedi Masters, he sighed.

The padawan suddenly realized where he was and a furious blushed appeared along with a smile.

-I met Master Mundi in here- he whispered. Qui-Gon shifted slightly to show he was listening- it was just after my first lightsaber class and I was so excited I took a stick and fought those rose bushes over there pretending I was Master Yoda.-

Qui-Gon's lips twitched up in amusement.

-And what happened?- the tall Master asked softly.

-Master Mundi came and helped me feel the plants. They were hurting, so I stopped.-

Obi-Wan was unaware of his Master's tiny smile. But of course, he was also unaware of Qui-Gon's love for any living being, including defenseless beautiful plants.

They continued their journey towards the sand clearing where younglings used to play. The padawan supported his Master as the climbed up the hill and then Obi-Wan was yet again clueless of what to do. Until he felt…

-Is something the matter?- Qui-Gon's deep voice touched Obi-Wan's ears. The slouch had given him away.

-I think I made a mistake.- Obi-Wan said despond- I now feel Master Windu is nowhere near here.-

Qui-Gon, of course, could not help when he couldn't feel anything aside his padawan's deep unhappiness. However, the Master thought it was a nice touch to recognize the error right away. Humbleness was a good trait.

-Correct the course, then-

Making a one eighty turn, they descended once again but taking the left way, giving their backs to the path they had come from.

-Ah… we need to go out of the way- Obi-Wan said frowning- there are some big bushes with some flowers along the way and I don't know what they are.-

-How do they look like?- Qui-Gon said a bit eager.

-Red haulms, white petals, orange pistils.-

-Those are ornamental flowers- Qui-Gon said unable to contain a smile.- I planted them myself.-

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped. Gardening? Well, no surprise really; was there anything in the galaxy his Master didn't excel in?

-What a way of meeting…- A deep, elegant voice suddenly interrupted.

Obi-Wan didn't recognize the Master. He had white hair, perfect regal posture, sharp eyes and a huge silent power resting on his Force signature.

Master Qui-Gon, however, bowed deeply right away.

-Master Dooku, it's been quite a while.-

Obi-Wan's eyebrows popped up. Master Qui-Gon's Master? He knew about him; he had an impeccable reputation in the political field and as swordsmen. A fine diplomat, he was a former padawan of Master Yoda. He sure wasn't how Obi-Wan had imagined he would be with his aristocrat, proud and stern form and a confident and detached demeanor.Obi-Wan wondered how it would be like to interact closely with the man. He swallowed hard.

-I've just returned- the older Jedi said smoothly, his tone surprising Kenobi- the padawan coordinating arrivals was at a lost with me; but that is what two years out do, I believe.-

Qui-Gon nodded at ease as he placed, once again, his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

-I believe you have yet to meet my padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi.-

Nervously, Obi-Wan bowed and then met Master Dooku's hawk eyes. He was surprised by the gentle look he got in return, it puzzled him to see it when Master Dooku looked so severe. Maybe it was because he was still young and the Master didn't want to intimidate him too much?

-Nice to meet you, young one.- he sent Qui-Gon a mocking gaze- Master Yoda told me all about you. I find myself shocked. I'm curious about the boy who conquered Qui-Gon's wretched stubbornness.-

Obi-Wan, disconcerted by the statement, looked uncertainly into the Master's eyes who smiled conspiratorially.

-I hope you have better taste than your Master- the older Jedi continued in an elegant tone- Tell me, what are your thoughts about Makashi?-

Obi-Wan eyes widened. Another test…

\- Umm… From what I've seen in the Archives, it's a very elegant Form. Requires perfect precision because of the characteristic cuts it performs. It's great on duels, however… It's not so good against several opponents and even worse against lasers.- he said frowning without noticing his voice gaining strength- The only way of using it alone nowadays is to achieve Mastery over it but that takes a life time. Had someone wanted to choose it at the beginning, they'd have to mix it with another form to be safe. Makashi alone just doesn't do in these times-

Master Dooku arched his eyebrows, taken aback. Qui-Gon's lips twitched up. Talking about bruising pride…

-And what do you think of Ataru?- Dooku said relentless.

-Well, Master Qui-Gon uses Ataru… I think Ataru is fun, feels like… like life itself, moving all around… I like it because it rest heavily on the Force, sometimes using it even more directly than other Forms. But it needs creativity because its defense is not so good if not lacking.- Obi-Wan said seriously- It works for Master Qui-Gon because the surprise is his defense, no one would imagine someone his size doing mortal jumps-

Rich laughter flew through the air as Master Dooku rejoiced over the boy's answer, Obi-Wan was surprised at hearing his own Master chuckling along softly. The young padawan felt his face reddening.

-What a boy! Mind as sharp as a lightsaber!- Master Dooku kept chuckling helplessly- I see you have a Negotiator on the making, Qui-Gon.-

-So it would seem- Qui-Gon answered with an elegant eyebrow gesture. Wow, how close attention Obi-Wan paid to him to know that?

-I'll be waiting for the day I get to see you perform your Form of choice.- Master Dooku said before preparing to leave- A duel tomorrow morning, my old padawan, and perhaps dinner?-

-Of course- Qui-Gon answered. Dooku nodded gracefully and walked away.

-I haven't seen him that impressed by a young one for quite a while- Qui-Gon broke the silence that had fallen into their walking.- probably since he chose me all those years ago…-

-Are you two close?- Obi-Wan asked silently.

-We keep in touch, we work well together; he has even said I was his favorite padawan. However, our way of thinking couldn't be more different. Sometimes, as we give each other a complete opposite point of view, we are able to solve problems otherwise impossible.-

Obi-Wan nodded soundlessly, Qui-Gon perceiving this not by sight, as he couldn't, but from the wide open bond. It was so estrange yet wonderful experience. They usually had the bond closed and by so, they had deprived themselves from a Force wisely given companionship. It was as if they had found there was a piece of themselves they had missed but now they knew about it… they complemented perfectly one another. They were both doubting the closeness they wanted to have, though. They felt insecure like that.

And now, arriving to a high place alongside the river, they stopped once again.

-You're standing on an unstable rock, Master- Obi-Wan said distractedly as he searched incessantly for who he now knew wasn't there. He sighed distressed.- I don't understand, Master Windu is not here, though he should.-

Qui-Gon squeezed comfortingly his padawan's shoulder.

-I'm sure he used to be here and has just moved- the Master said surprising himself at how earnest he was to ease Obi-Wan's apprehension.

-But…- the boy began but suddenly gasped, his breathing picking rocket speed.

-Obi-Wan?- Qui-Gon said startled, the bond just making feel he was spinning relentlessly- Obi-Wan?!-

Qui-Gon resisted the urge of tearing up the cloth around his eyes. Obi-Wan had forcefully place a knee on the ground and was holding his head with his hands without responding to his Master's anguished calls. Qui-Gon placed his arms around a trembling Obi-Wan however, the second later the boy freed himself and began to emit sounds that indicated an emptying stomach process.

-Obi-Wan?- Qui-Gon said worriedly.

-I'm sorry Master- the boy said hoarsely as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve.

-Are you feeling ill? Do you need a healer?- Obi-Wan shook his head carefully as he rose to his feet.

-It was just a vision.- Obi-Wan said and grimaced at seeing his breakfast on the grass. 'What a waste…' he thought- But come, we need to go elsewhere-

Obi-Wan lead his Master once again, eagerly so. They walked towards his favorite place, the huge tree near the river. The refuge was empty though. Obi-Wan shifted nervously, what if…?

The impressive figure of Mace Windu made appearance a second later, as the councilor tried to sneak in without being seen.

-Wh..? Why are you here?!- the councilor said puzzled.

-I got a tip- Obi-Wan said relieved and cheerful, he hadn't fail! Had he been able, he'd have done a happy dance.

-Mhmgh the Force play also wanted…- Master Yoda slowly made his way towards them, gimmer stick leaving marks on the ground as he walked.

-You have learnt important things- Mace said as he kneelt feeling a bit down as his game had come to a quick end- you were forced to trust and the other one proved to be an eager guardian. You refreshed what is to be guided as we must learn to be able to guide and to lead means selflessly give oneself to others.-

-Nervousness, doubts about trusting, normal are but the Force a great ally is. Reach the Force, together Master and Apprentice it brought. Betray not the confidence the Force in you put.-

Suddenly, the serious talk was interrupted by the distinct sound of a hungry stomach.

-I'm sorry!- Obi-Wan said red faced. It was well after lunch time though, and losing one's breakfast didn't help...

The Masters were highly amused.

-Mhgm a gundark you have swallowed, young one, groans fiercely it does, yes- Master Yoda said as he playfully picked the padawan's belly with his gimmer stick.

Qui-Gon's broad chest resonated with his musical laughter, infected by the cheerful scene of a ticklish Obi-Wan.

-Go eat before you eat us, Obi-Wan- Mace said blissfully. Seeing this team laugh was the best experience he had been given.

 **1904: Thank you for commenting. I'm glad you like how this is developing and I hope you keep loving this as much as you've had so far :)**

 **Captain: I was very glad to know that I was able to make you happy through my note. I feel great about you liking my story so much. However, I'm sorry to say that the quick updates will come to an end soon because I'm still writing for this and I'm a very slow writer and, as I'm not a native speaker, I have to send the chaps to my beta, so... I'll do my best though ;) I take my time to develop the relationships because things don't get fixed from one second to another, specially when something big like trust was affected. We'll see how this turns out, I have some surprises coming ;) thanks for your support, means a lot to me.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello, dear readers. I wanted to thank all of you for reading and send big hugs to those of you who decided to comment, your effort is deeply appreciated. Now, I need to say that this is the last checked chapter that I have. The next one is being checked by my wonderful beta, so we will have to wait. I could risk it and publish it and then repost it when I have the final version. If you'd like that, please say so. I'm working on another chap too, it's almost ready. Fear not, this story will be finished... some day jajaja**

Garen Muln was feeling awesome. With dawn barely starting to show outside the window, he relished in the coolness of the air, the quiet halls and all the possibilities the new day was just about to present. The light colors that announced the new day started a game of tag, the pink chased after the purple and the dark blue rapidly ran away. He loved to witness such a playful display of the Force.

Garen Muln was a morning person.

Obi-Wan was not.

And that brought him to his current quest towards the Jinn/Kenobi quarters. He couldn't conceal a mischievous smile as he pressed the bell. Unsurprisingly, Master Qui-Gon was up and about; Obi-Wan had said his Master rose early to meditate and he'd taken his word for that.

The gate made a swift sound and revealed the impressive figure of Obi-Wan's Master.

-Good morning, Master Jinn.- Garen bowed deeply.

-Hello, Padawan Muln. May I ask what brings you here at such an early hour?- Qui-Gon asked gently yet serious, allowing him to pass.

-My Master and I were summoned to a Council meeting. We'll possibly be headed off-world afterwards and I wanted to say goodbye to Obi-Wan just in case.- Garen was surprised at the slight twitch up in Qui-Gon's lips.

-Of course.- Qui-Gon pointed with his head towards his padawan's room and added knowingly- he should be practicing to be aware of his surroundings during his sleep. I'd advise you to be careful.

Garen tried to hide his evil smile… Unsuccessfully, of course.

Qui-Gon followed him to the doorway, where he crossed his arms over his massive chest and watched intently as Garen decided his course of action. He'd planned to jump madly in Obi-Wan's bed, but there was another idea appealing to him at the moment. He quietly cleared his throat and prepared his most Master-like voice.

-Obi-Wan, you're late!-

Of course that Obi-Wan in all but a second had fallen heavily to the floor, engaged his blanket in a deadly duel and bumped in the grinning form of Master Qui-Gon on his way out of the room.

To say that Garen was rolling in laughter would be an understatement.

-Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan! Calm down, padawan.- Qui-Gon said amused.

Obi-Wan groaned as realization hit him.

-Garen, don't you have a better thing to do? This got old years ago.- Kenobi snapped moodily, as he watched his laughing breathless friend trying to stand straight.

-Actually, I do.- Garen replied cheerfully.- that's why I came to see you. I have a Council meeting, I'll probably be heading off planet afterwards.-

He wasn't prepared to see sudden anxiety in his friend's eyes. He'd expected some witty, moody remark after being rudely awaken. What was grief doing to his friend?

-What a shame, you haven't been here for long.- Obi-Wan said.

-Yeah, pity I'll have to wait to see that kata you were working on.- He tried to mention a nice subject.

Obi-Wan's panicked expression changed the mood of the whole encounter though. Garen realized he'd messed up right there.

-And what kata is that?- Qui-Gon asked, his eyebrow crooked.

-The one I'm preparing for my 'saber technique goodbye class.- Obi-Wan answered evasively.

After an awkward silence, Qui-Gon left the two friends alone.

-I'm sorry.- Garen apologized.- Doesn't he know yet?-

Obi-Wan shook his head somberly.

-We're not the best of buddies, Garen.-

Garen hated to leave his friend like that but he had no choice.

-I'd love to ask what happened yesterday but I gotta go and…-

-It's okay. Thanks for coming.- Garen nodded.

-Sure. Hey, keep it cool, okay? Don't let all this to bring you down.-

And with a pad on the back, he was gone.

Sadly, Obi-Wan's day didn't get easier afterwards. For one, he'd found Aalto who, angry at him once again, made him trip in the hallway and his datapad broke. His teachers of Force theory, Galactic Politics, and History were not happy when he showed up without his homework. They all saw the datapad and believed his explanation, model student that he was, he'd never showed up without his homework before.

Obi-Wan couldn't be more relieved when his classes ended mid-afternoon. After a quick snack, he'd decided to distract himself in the sacrosanct territory of the Archives without knowing that it would put the cherry on top of his not so happy day. Just an hour later, he was running out of the place feeling completely and utterly mortified.

He'd distractedly selected some few holovids but one had stand out. It was the duel between Master Qui-Gon and Dooku performed early that very day. At first he'd been exhilarated, the duel had been out of the galaxy! It had been a display of split second reflexes and skills far beyond his imagination. As the duel ended (both incredibly striking wining hits at the same time) he'd seen the classification 'Jedi Masters/Makashi/Ataru'.

Great, just great. And this was his way to make himself a Jedi and not only that, he could now write a manual on how to keep destroying a shaking Master-padawan bond. 'Defy the Master in question and if that doesn't work, insult the Master's Master.'

He couldn't believe he had criticized the Form used by one of the greatest swordsmen alive.

-Idiot! How could I've been so stupid?! It was just a change in hair color!-

Oh, yes, because he'd watched Makashi duels in the Archives before. He had studied vids with all seven forms on his free time but, of course, his stupid brain couldn't recognize Master Dooku dark haired younger self.

Walking furiously to his favorite place in the Room of Thousand Fountains, he was just begging the Force to erase that terrible moment from the revered Master's memory. He was an oratory prodigy, or so his teachers said, but Ja! Think again. He'd messed it all up. He needed to drill into his head the concept of thinking before talking. How could he be accepted by the Council and Qui-Gon if he kept proving himself to be inadequate?

-Obi-Wan?- A voice broke his self-kicking thoughts.

-Master?- Obi-Wan replied doubtfully as he headed towards the sound.

He then had to close his eyes hard and open them again just to be sure.

Gardening?

Yes, there was no mistake. Master Qui-Gon was only wearing his dark trousers, his robe and tunic discarded, exposing his muscular chest. Several instruments, as paddles and buckets, were spread around him.

Qui-Gon looked at him for a moment before returning to his current task, without inviting or rejecting his padawan's presence.

Obi-Wan's jaw tightened as he swallowed without knowing what to do. He needed to meditate badly but he felt a pull towards his Master. The Force felt so at ease, so calm around Qui-Gon… maybe it'd help his meditation?

Sighing, he made a slowly way towards his Master and without a word he kneeled in the grass in the traditional meditation position and closed his eyes. Reaching for the Force, and accompanied by the almost fluffy feeling, he began to review his turbulent feelings. His daily dose of grief over Bruck's and Ceraci's death wasn't ready to be gone yet. Try as he might, he couldn't get over the pain their passing caused nor the knowledge of having played a part on what had happened. Feeling disgustingly traitorous remained too. Everything he did ended up badly and so his self-recrimination stayed. Doubting himself stayed. Feeling not good enough a Jedi stayed. Feeling hurt by Qui-Gon's rejection stayed. Feeling ashamed for causing Qui-Gon grief stayed. Anxiety over insulting Dooku stayed. Fear of being expelled from the Order stayed. Longing heartbreakingly for Qui-Gon stayed.

What in the nine corellian Sith hells was leaving, then?!

Opening his eyes more frustrated than before hadn't been his plan at all. He wasn't good enough to even calm himself properly. At his age, he should've been able to release it all to the Force. Another way to fail, he thought.

He discovered Qui-Gon looking at him without giving away any thoughts, as usual. He dropped his eyes with a tired sigh.

-Pretty early on I discovered I liked living things of any kind- Qui-Gon said unexpectedly. Obi-Wan looked at him absolutely shocked.- I also loved to tend to them and so I began gardening. Once I became a padawan, I learned that light colored trousers didn't work for me. Master Dooku was always disturbed when we were called to the Council Chambers and even after the most thoroughly washing couldn't keep my clothes from being stained with dirt, fertilizer and such.-

Obi-Wan's lips twitched a bit and very slowly, fearing that he'd be sent away, he removed his robe, undertunic and belt before getting closer to his Master's working zone.

-Bant, Garen, Reeft and I were always getting Docent Vant on a frenzy. We were always getting lost either looking for the lake or the Training Salles.- the padawan said quietly.

With a nod, Qui-Gon began to teach him about some of the tasks that needed to be done in a garden. A bit of weeding, fertilizing, watering… he also showed him how to plant what it would be a beautiful bush but that right now was only a very delicate seed that needed to be placed in a certain way or it would not work out.

Suddenly, the tall Master began to contemplate a shocking image in front of him. Obi-Wan treated the seeds with utmost respect. Carefully, he placed the seeds into a perfect sized hole and lovingly covered them as if they were babies and their blankets. Qui-Gon was so disconcerted. Very few had been given the opportunity of gardening and sowing with him. Master Dooku, for instance, had been so uncomfortable that had left within five minutes and Xanatos… Xanatos had said it was useless and repulsive. Qui-Gon hadn't mentioned any of it to another soul since then.

-Would something happen if I place the seed in another way, say horizontal or several in the same hole?-

Qui-Gon pushed himself to focus.

-Root damage, they wouldn't grow properly or not even make it out of the ground at all. Any modification would kill them.-

-Oh! This is intense!- Obi-Wan scowled furiously as he measured meticulously the distance between the holes.

Qui-Gon examined the strange peaceful feeling he was getting. When had been the last time he felt like that? But… but it was not entirely undisturbed peace, something was off. It came from Obi-Wan, he realized, heavily shielded as he was.

-Why are you upset?- he asked bluntly.

The Master felt the very air freeze. Obi-Wan didn't stop what he was doing but the tension had risen. The boy's jaw tightened and the Master could almost see the words being carefully organized in the padawan's head.

-My datapad fell and broke. I have to redo all of my homework.-

Qui-Gon could feel the truth of the statement but there was also something else the boy wasn't telling. This didn't bode well at all. Half-truths and ridiculously good shields… Deception couldn't be tolerated.

-What aren't you telling me?- he said harshly.

Obi-Wan snapped.

-That I'll kidnap Master Yoda's gimmer stick and hold it hostage until they appoint me to the Council.-

-You forget your place, padawan!- Qui-Gon said imposingly

-On the contrary, Master Jinn. You remind me of it at all times.- Obi-Wan said hurt and angry. He bowed deeply before leaving the place with his clothes following him as metal to a magnet.

He knew he'd been unrightfully rude but if he'd stayed one more second he wouldn't have been able to hold it together.

He'd forgotten his Master didn't trust him.

But really, he was such an idiot. He wasn't wanted anywhere, his disgraceful acts would never be forgotten. He needed to accept that and continue knowing that he wouldn't be well received anywhere and specially by his Master. Qui-Gon must have known beforehand that there was something wrong with him. He was just thoroughly inadequate, that had to be why he couldn't do anything right and…

He didn't see the punch to his nose coming.

CRASH!

-That's how it felt, Oafy-Wan, painful and unexpected. Your hands are stained with blood and the disgrace will never be gone. Remember it.-

Aalto's furious floated somewhere above him but the hit had been so hard that all he saw was black. He took some few calming breaths and tried again.

Everything was fussy. Aalto had left already leaving him flat on the grass.

That pretty much summarized his life. He kept falling due to his own stupidity and everything he encountered leaved him promptly and with a lot of pain.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello! I'm baaaaack! here's a new chap, hope you enjoy and comment! Dedicated to all those who commented in the past chaps; thank you, dear friends!**

Master Qui-Gon Jinn was known for several things. He was very attuned and devoted to the Force. He was a good swordsman. He was also charismatic, gentle, quiet, patient, stubborn and always had a calm disposition.

But not these days. These days he was a mess.

He was upset and confused, angry and anxious. Why, he was so unsettled that gardening and meditation hadn't worked their magic.

It all started on that wretched afternoon when he argued with the boy, he hadn't had a moment of peace since then. He knew he'd been too aggressive and of course the boy had felt attacked. So much that he'd yet again made himself a ghost and hadn't seen him for days except in private classes when he kept an absolute hermetic demeanor and refused to say any word about anything. He still was ignorant of what had been bothering the padawan that day and any other day, to be honest. He'd turned a blind eye to the shields when they appeared the first time, he didn't want to share the boy's feelings after all, but this was something else. He was turned about what to do, the boy was having troubles but he didn't know if he could approach him objectively. He was being pulled toward to different directions, Obi-Wan was not a Knight, he needed the training to have better self control and as his Master he should be the one helping, but yet…

He needed to test the boy's loyalties somehow, something that left him no doubt about him. He yet again felt as if he didn't have enough information to decide if the boy was worth his trust.

He decided to rest it off, to decide later and just go to the crèche. There was yet to arrive the day when meditating around the younglings didn't calm him down. They were full of life, full of the Force and so untainted by the Dark that they could bring peace to the most hopeless, unsettled of spirits.

-Oh, Qui-Gon, hello.- the impressive tall figure of Ali Alaan received him among a sea of children, who happily ran towards Qui-Gon, fascinated that he'd come yet again.- I was wondering when I would be seeing you here. It's been two days since the last time, I'd began to consider the need for a rescue mission from some carnivorous plant

-I've been busy with a tricky transplantation process and… oh!- Qui-Gon held up a painful yell when a toddler pulled his long hair.

Ali Alaan chuckled.

-You should have seen what they did to Obi-Wan's braid just this morning. Poor lad had to rebraid the few hairs he had left.-

-What?- Qui-Gon's insides went cold- what was Obi-Wan doing here?-

-You don't know?- the crèche Master raised his eyebrows- he comes from time to time to play with the youngest and to talk to those who weren't pick but stayed at the Temple. He says he wants to help them as he almost joined them.

This was not what he needed at the moment, Qui-Gon thought. It was arguing with Obi-Wan what had brought him here in the first place and now there was a new element thrown in the soup before he felt ready.

Really, he needed time! He couldn't figure out the boy right now, he needed a cold head first. Anxiety didn't help to analyze a boy who was compassionate and caring one minute and then disrespectful and bitter a second later. Why, just this morning Bant Eering had commed and asked him to pass his class notes to her and Obi-Wan responded 'Why would I ever do that, I'd never take notes of what I know is difficult for you. One less person to overpass.' Disappointed by this, he'd left the room without listening any further.

There was also that large bruise in his padawan's face and though Obi-Wan said he'd just taken a hit from a fellow padawan, the whole thing had left him with a bad feeling.

And now this. Why was it that he had perfect senses to figure out any being he encountered but was unable to decipher who his padawan really is?

He closed his eyes and tried to relax. He remembered himself to live in the moment and focus on the children surrounding him. However, twenty minutes later he got a transmission to his comm.-link from Mace who requested a saber duel. He decided right then that it'd be a good way to bend up some frustration. Besides, sparing with Mace was always fun. It was high time to give his best friend a sound beating.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Obi-Wan liked a good academical time; he relished the feeling of wisdom getting to his brain, his mind taking in the new knowledge. But really, who wouldn't love a good 'saber time too. Either if it was a sparing against a peer, a practice against 'bots or a run through some katas, he was the happiest when a 'saber was involved. He just loved the thing, even if it gave him a run for his money from time to time.

Like right now.

Ever since that awful afternoon he'd taken residence in the salles, practicing madly until his muscles couldn't take more and forced him to move to the Archives. Concentrating on his moves and the whole philosophy behind the exercise, he was able to release some tension and study at the same time. He loved doing the hard work that conquered the challenge for him and so, he didn't mind all that much that he'd fallen, and fallen and fallen yet again trying to get the Tiger's kata right. He was in the process of perfecting it but whenever he corrected one move the next one needed to be right as well or he'd fall as he was doing right now.

There was a jump and a turn that he just couldn't get right; it interfered with the ever present wisdom of not hitting yourself.

Getting up after a particularly painful fall, he decided to call it a day. It'd be probably easier to get it right if someone had been there helping him but there was no one available at the moment. The satisfaction of knowing that whatever progress he'd achieved had been due to his own effort would have to suffice.

Tiredly, he walked across the room towards the exit and he was almost out when he caught the sight of Master Windu and Qui-Gon warming up in a dojo in the far corner. They'd be sparring soon and that was always a good sight to see. But that was not what accelerated his heart, no.

His heart almost broke free from his chest when he saw the Masters mirroring each other's movements in a perfect execution of the Tiger's kata.

Obi-Wan ran towards a column and hide to have a better sight. It was a beautiful sight, it was perfect and majestic; his Master even had a peaceful expression in his face.

Without thinking, Obi-Wan grabbed the Force to accentuate his sight in a variation of the hearing exercise he'd been doing with his Master and paid really close attention to his Qui-Gon's movements. The segment that gave him trouble approached and… there! Master Qui-Gon made a strange twist with his wrist and by doing it he'd ward off the 'saber from himself. Qui-Gon didn't hit himself, the section of the kata was perfect and his Master was able to continue without falling.

Hope rushed widely through his chest as he returned hastily to where he'd been practicing and began once again the kata, certain that a change was about to happen.

He made it. Happiness overflew him, success lifted his spirits, he felt as skilled as Master Yoda and then he fell.

Hard.

Immobilized by pain, his entire being screaming at him, he laid in the floor with a crazy on his face. It didn't matter that his Master didn't want him near or that he didn't want to teach him nor that he didn't trust him. Even if Qui-Gon didn't want to be a participant in his life, he would now have something ever present that belonged to the tall Master: his favorite kata's move.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

Ashoo!

The room resonated with the sound of a explosive sneeze. It had been happening all day and Master Mace Windu couldn't take any more of it. That morning he'd woken up to an irritated red skin, a furious itching that was driving him insane and sneezes in top to coronate it all. He'd put an immediate end to the whole nightmare or die that very second.

Keshoo!

-Oh, blast it! Ah wobt hab ady dose bah toborrow- Mace complaint taking a handkerchief just in time to…

Hackshoo!

Grabbing a random tool of the ones he had around him, he continued to try to figure out what had happened with the air-cleaning machine of his quarters. It had been down when he woke up and it was bound to have something to do with his illness. There was probably some dust combination that the thing was expelling and that he was allergic to.

-Ah wobt tolerate this ady lodger!- he strongly informed the thing.

It appeared a second later that the machine was not impressed by Mace's command.

KABOOM!


	15. Chapter 15

**I hope you enjoy this, please let me hear your thoughts. Have a nice Holy Week!**

In the several centuries of existence of the Order, there had been lots of exercises that helped the particular Jedi to acquire certain piece of knowledge. Some lived throughout the years and others at some time were left in the oblivion, maybe no longer considered appropriate or maybe for being outdated, surpassed by new ideas.

The exercise Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were currently doing danced in the fine line between 'barely allowed' and 'inappropriate', though the fear of being put through it had kept it away from being forgotten. There was some morbid awe around the infamous practice that mystified the youngsters and amused the elders. All in all, Obi-Wan was fully aware of how the once very popular exercise of getting into ice-cold-water-freezing-as-Hoth was less and less favored. But obedience had been a lesson hard learnt for him and though he would've preferred to clean hundreds of bantha stables before doing this, he hadn't bat an eye when he agreed to Qui-Gon's decision, however unorthodox it was.

-L-let's see, Ob'-Wan- Qui-Gon said trembling, looking at his blue skinned padawan- this p-provides us 'f s-several angles t-to contemplate.-

Obi-Wan forced himself to focus, struggling with the distraction he got from being so indecently cold. They were in a temp controlled pool were water's temperature had been steadily dropping for a while. Clad in trousers, they both had their arms crossed, trying to retain some warmth because they were doing nothing with the Force to confront the cold.

Qui-Gon used to Force to throw two dummy dolls into the pool and levitated a heavy metal box into Obi-Wan's hands, which gave the boy a problem as it was getting harder to control his hands.

-W-we are f-feeling t-the b-beginnings of h-hypothermia. S-soon we w-won't be able t-to think s-straight so we h-have to d-decide q-quickly what to d-do. If w-we are in t-the middle of a f-freezing ocean with t-two protégés, c-child and i-injured adult, with a p-precious c-cargo to guard and c-cold c-clouding our minds, w-what should we do?-

Obi-Wan tried to think, everything was important to do, but he couldn't decide. It was like trying to do math at three in the morning while sporting a headache.

-T-tell me w-what you're thinking- Qui-Gon gasped.

-I t-think c-checking t-the injured w-would be f-first.-

-W-what if t-the c-child c-can't swim? H-how would you c-check t-the adult w-with a h-heavy b-box in your hands?-

-I-I'd drop the b-box n-no matter what, inf'mation 's not as imp-portant 's a life- the box touched the pool's floor with a little _crash!_

-It'll be h-harder to drop than you think- Qui-Gon said, secretly please of that decision.- but the F-Force will p-provide another way. Now, w-what will you do?-

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and concentrated hard. His control of the Force was erratic, what was usually part of routine had become a true challenge. Ever so slowly and unstably, the smaller doll rose above the water and then he made the bigger doll shine a bit.

-You'll t-tire quickly if y-you levitate t-the child t-to attend t-to the adult, h-and would s-still h-have to swim back to mainland.- Qui-Gon commented.

The small dummy doll went back into the water. Obi-Wan tried again to come up with a solution but this time he really couldn't think straight. Qui-Gon then decided to speak.

-Y-your first s-step s-should always b-be t-to release anxiety, c-calm and clear y-your mind b-before anything else. R-Reach the F-Force now, Obi-Wan.-

The padawan obeyed.

Ah, that simplified things. Obi-Wan was still cold as Hoth but at least he had his mind back in control.

-Good. Now that we're calm, calming our protégés will be easier.- Qui-Gon said before motioning the boy to act.

Obi-Wan moved like a robot to put the small doll's arms around his shoulders and grabbed the big one.

-I'd tell the child to hold onto me and to just move the legs so I can check the other person.-

-Okay.- Qui-Gon said.- continue.-

-If the injury is superficial, I can try to heal it with the Force.- the big doll started to delicately shine with a yellow light.

-I didn't know you were good with that technique- Qui-Gon crooked an eyebrow.

-I'm not- Obi-Wan admitted, frustrated for being found lacking yet again.

-Alright. If you can fix it, there are more chances for the three to make it. But, what if you can't?-

-I… I'll try to make him as comfortable as possible.-

-And then what? You try to make it better, but then you can't do anything else. Neither of your protégés can't swim too much, what do you do?-

-I… I don't know- Obi-Wan's frustration ran strongly through the Force- I can't just leave someone to die!-

-Of course you can't, we Jedi value life above all else. However, there comes the time when we do our best and it still is not enough. That is because we are not all powerful, we can't always succeed in saving them all. You have to choose who will you take to mainland.-

-I don't understand- Obi-Wan's anger flooded the Force.- we're Jedi, we're supposed to help, that's what we train for, why is this asking me to fail?-

Qui-Gon frowned slightly. He didn't like that tone. It sounded like someone who was attached and could decide to do anything to avoid losing what they wanted. He observed the boy carefully, feeling alarmed yet again.

-We need to understand that this works through balance. We can never allow ourselves to be negligent, never to do a mediocre effort, but never abandon ourselves to despair.-

Obi-Wan tightened his jaw. Just the night before, he'd relived Cerasi's death in his dreams. He couldn't take the images away from his mind's eye. And now Qui-Gon had suggested that his abilities were not enough and that he couldn't be mediocre. In short, once again he was being reminded that it was his fault that not only Cerasi died, but also Bruck. As if he didn't feel enough guilt on his own, his Master hinted enough into it so he'd be reminded of it. He didn't need to, his shame was never away from his mind. He wasn't good enough and that had gotten people killed. Thirteen years old and he already had two deaths over his head. He swallowed and lowered his head feeling his throat cramped.

Qui-Gon observed this without understanding. The tensed jaw and the bowed head didn't speak of arrogance or defiance. There was defeat all over Obi-Wan's posture but for the life of him Qui-Gon couldn't figure out why. This was more than not knowing how to respond to the exercise, some piece of the puzzle was missing.

-Obi-Wan?- Qui-Gon whispered with a soft scowl on his face.

-QUI-GON JINN! Are you out of your mind?!- Vokara Che irrupted into the room absolutely enraged. Qui-Gon with his eyes indicated Obi-Wan to get out of the pool.- How could you submit a thirteen year old to this madness?-

The severe healer was now in front of Qui-Gon's tall figure, but he just focused on getting towels, as blue as they were, for him and Obi-Wan.

-It's a lesson that has been well used over the years, Master Che.-

The Jedi Healer was not impressed.

-War has been present throughout the galaxy in all eras; does that make it a good thing to reproduce?-

-Why do we have to honor of your presence, Vokara?- Master Qui-Gon cut what could have been a very long tirade. The healer glared at him.

-I won't forget about this, Qui-Gon, you can be sure of that. However, I'm here because Mace had a bit of an accident. He tried to fix the air cleaner but it exploded on him. He burned his hands quite badly and has itching welts all over his body due to a persistent allergy caused by whatever was in the machine. I'm releasing him but he can't go to his apartment. Would you take him in for a few days?-

Qui-Gon answered without hesitation.

-Of course. I'll come with you to pick him up.- Qui-Gon said as he picked a clean set of clothes to go change.

-How are you feeling, Obi-Wan?- Qui-Gon turned to see Vokara tending to his furiously trembling padawan. Qui-Gon realized he'd warmed himself unconsciously while his padawan had not.

-I-I'm o-okay- the boy answered, trying to get some heat from the towel around him.

-Do you know how to use the Force to warm yourself?- the woman rubbed Obi-Wan's freezing arms over the towel.

The boy nodded, or they assumed so of the extra shooking, and watched him close his eyes. Concentrating, Obi-Wan used the Force to warm himself up. Qui-Gon stared at the boy. He hadn't showed the padawan how to do that, it wasn't an easy ability to master, and yet somehow the boy had figured it out and had a decent control over it. As the boy opened his eyes with a bit more of color on his face and without the trembling, Qui-Gon couldn't help but be reminded of the time when he'd read Obi-Wan's file and had been surprised by it, just as he was that very moment.

-I can't believe you did this, Qui-Gon- Master Che brought him out of his thoughts.

-Master Che, if I may…- Obi-Wan interrupted a bit doubtful but stood straight as the woman's fierce gaze pierced his eyes.- this activity obtained approval in the Council's edict about tests and exercises emitted three hundred years ago. It was said that whatever variant it adopted, it provided the chance to evaluate the padawan's reactions in a situation that made them physically uncomfortable without an apparent reason, being obedience the only thing holding them still.-

Qui-Gon swallowed his surprise. So Obi-Wan knew of the exercise and its reputation. He hadn't known of the details, only Qui-Gon himself had, but the boy had done his best to prepare himself and hadn't questioned him on what he knew was a difficult test.

-So knowledgeable are you now- Master Che recovered, barely containing her irritation.- did you considered that the smaller the person, the fastest they lose body temperature? Did you accounted the differences between yours and Jinn's complexions and the hazards that presented to your health?-

-Thinking I knew better brought only difficulties to me, is a tendency I try not to indulge on nowadays. However, I will say that my Master is deeply attuned to the Living Force and had something been out of place, he'd have stopped the test. I would appreciate it if you don't question Master Jinn in front of me, for he was conducting himself rectly.-

-Obi-Wan, that is quite enough.- Qui-Gon intervened feeling very uncomfortable- go change and read Master Yoda's writings on decisions, we'll discuss them soon.-

-Yes, Master.- the boy answered quietly. He bowed deeply to Healer Che and then to Qui-Gon himself before leaving the room quickly.

Vokara looked at Qui-Gon sternly.

-I don't know what have you done to that boy, Qui-Gon, but you'd better be careful. Guilt is a bad advisor, makes you want to overcompensate to the point of making you reckless.-

Qui-Gon frowned. Guilt? Over what, exactly?

-Someone defends me and you assume it came out of guilt- Qui-Gon said to cover his thoughts.-

-I prefer to think it's out of guilt before acknowledging that Obi-Wan cares for you. The way you treat him would make it too hurtful a notion.-

Qui-Gon pressed his lips in a thin line as he saw Vokara walking away from him. He was so confused. He'd tried to get around it but it was Obi-Wan who held the answers he needed, for investigations and assumptions hadn't been enough. Qui-Gon decided that, after picking up Mace, he'd meditate and prepare as best as he could to talk to the boy.

And then, he'd act accordingly.


	16. Chapter 16

**Guest (Chap 15): I guess it's hard to talk to people when you're hurt.. getting to say it'll be done is a big step for him, so go Qui! and let's hope for the best ;) Bant will make an appearance but not just yet.. We'll just have to wait to see how that goes ;) thank you for your review, it's much appreciated :D**

 **Obi fan: thank you so much for your comment, I'm very glad you like it.. let's have our fingers crossed so they get together soon, yeah? I can't wait to hear more from you, see you soon!**

"Oh, I'd love to know huttese" Obi-Wan thought as he tried yet again to comprehend what he was reading. It was supposed to be a simple recipe but it all sounded like huttese to him and he decided that, in consequence, knowing the language could only help. He couldn't be more confused than this anyway.

Maybe ordering for take-out would've been wiser… but he wanted to do this himself. He wasn't discouraged by the metaphoric arm wrestling he was currently loosing against culinary skills. If there was something he could do it'd be eating. That, he thought, automatically made him the winner against his eatable prey.

And that would be the end of it.

He stifled a yell as he somehow managed to hit both his hand and chin with the chopping board.

-I know I've never cooked before, but this is ridiculous.- Obi-Wan muttered as he rubbed the affected members.

Really, all he wanted was to cook something so Master Windu wouldn't have to go down to the refectory where he could get hurt with all the people running about. Qui-Gon surely wouldn't do it, he avoided the kitchen as if the Dark Sided Plague resided in there, and Master Windu was the one injured. That left him.

Apart from that, it all had the fortunate effect of occupying his whole mind, his complete attention. He wouldn't have to consider how was it that Qui-Gon never spent much time with him and yet it had been enough to create an image of an arrogant, lazy, incompetent, heartless grub out of him.

But he didn't want to think about that. He forced himself to try to figure out why Qui-Gon didn't cook instead. Oh, he knew Qui-Gon prepared himself to even enter their quarter's kitchen. He'd watched him do so because even though he was mostly invisible to Qui-Gon, he'd his eyes on him at all times when they were in the same room. He was supposed to learn from Qui-Gon, that meant that most of the time he had to learn from what he saw. And he could see that it was all more intense than simply not liking it.

-Oh, come on!- Obi-Wan exploded in the middle of his debate- do this for me just this time and I swear I'll never command you to prep food for me ever again.-

The knife didn't seem eager to cooperate with him as he continued to try to do something with the huge bantha ribs that rested impassively on the table.

Actually, all Obi-Wan managed to do was to bruise his fingers and then his foot when everything fell while trying to rescue his hand. An utter mess appeared out of nowhere in matter of seconds.

Of course, it was in that very moment when the door opened with a boisterous _hiss-snap_!

Masters Qui-Gon and Windu found Obi-Wan doing a weird hopping on one foot while holding his left hand against his chest. There was a bit of a mess, some badly butchered bantha ribs and datapads crazily spread all over the place. The three remained paralyzed for a moment before Mace managed to unfreeze himself.

-Obi-Wan?- he asked. The boy had now stopped the hopping but remained deeply flushed.

-I'm sorry- Obi-Wan said very distressed as he saw Master Mace in such a bad shape. The korun master had big patches of redness that looked awfully painful against his dark skin and his hands were heavily bandaged. Obi-Wan thought he seemed to be weary and couldn't help but lower his gaze to the floor. The mess he'd created was certainly not what the councilor needed.

-Obi-Wan, what is all this?- he heard Mace ask.

-I tried to cook. I guessed you wouldn't want to go to the Mess Hall.- the boy answered despondently.

Mace nodded surprised but grateful and turned to see Qui-Gon next to him. The long haired Jedi had a neutral mask on his face but his mind was not quiet at all.

With his mind's eye, Qui-Gon saw the image of a dark-haired handsome teenager holding a whisker between his thumb and index, sporting a wrinkled nose.

"Cooking is a task for servants, not Jedi" the boy in his memory had said importantly.

"It's an art and a survival skill" Qui-Gon himself had answered unhappily. "What would you do if, on a mission, starving people need you to cook for them?"

"They could die for all I care, I'm better than that."

He'd been so disappointed that day.

 _Qui?_

Xanato's lack of compassion should have ring a bell.

 _Qui, you there?_

He hadn't been able to cook since Xanato's fall.

 _Qui-Gon_

The kitchen was hunted for him.

-JINN, WAKE UP!- Mace startled him with Force-sound that resembled snapping fingers.

-I've called your name four times now, are you okay?- Mace said scowling.

-Yeah, I'm sorry.- Qui-Gon said quietly. He doubted for a second before walking slowly towards Obi-Wan and picking up the things on the floor.

-Have you tried to cook before?- Qui-Gon muttered.

The boy moved his head an inch to either side.

-I don't know how.- the padawan whispered, feeling ever the failure.

Qui-Gon nodded and gulped heavily at what he was about to do.

Mace, still standing near the door, watched in awe as Qui-Gon began to cook, trembling hands and all, and thanked the Force for the broken A/C that had brought him there and for the hot headed, kind hearted padawan that had virtually healed a memory.

He dearly tried to contain his cheer, he had a reputation to protect after all, but continued to appreciate the scene in front of him. Qui-Gon laconically gave instructions and Obi-Wan did his best to follow them. His friend's shoulders were slowly loosing tension as he relaxed into a well loved practice.

Maybe there was something there, something that would bind them and pull them together… but Mace was certain that it would take years to happen if they were left to their own devices.

It was time to spice things up.

-I think this merits a story.- he said before concentrating hard to pull up a chair for himself, appalled of what pain meds could do to Force connections.- Obi-Wan, has your Master ever told you about certain mission to Ocdran?-

Mace smiled evilly. Qui-Gon had stopped the chopping to give him a warning stare.

-Don't . you . dare- Jinn said lowly.

Mace didn't mind him and turned to face a now very intrigued Obi-Wan.

-You know what they say about dragons being fierce, temperamental, easily angered…?- Obi-Wan nodded as Qui-Gon threatened to go for his lightsaber.

-Your Master got burned and tail-slapped because he wanted to kiss some dragon's forehead-

-That is not true, Windu!- Qui-Gon snapped. Obi-Wan held his breath.

-Kindly enlighten me, then.- Mace challenged.

-The dragon was hurt, I calmed her and cured her…-

-And tried to kiss her like an over-grown teddy bear.-

-She was a baby- Qui-Gon yelled as Obi-Wan reddened- I tried to sooth her and everything was alright until you, brilliant head, startled her!-

Obi-Wan lost it.

-Oh, really? And who attracted all those gundarks because he couldn't shut up?-

-You had put a mask on me with laughing gas ten seconds before!-

-I thought it was O2, it was an honest mistake- Mace waved it away.

The blood bath had started and Obi-Wan couldn't help but laugh hard. He now knew what long friendships were for…

-Oh, super councilor youngest-in-two-centuries, remind me who arrived to his first Council session wearing purple boxers over his pants?-

Mace fumed.

-I was nervous and half asleep and you didn't help me get ready even though you said you would!-

-Younglings know how to dress; you're saying you can't do it?-

-Nine days without sleep and scared to death!-

-Haven't you invented a better excuse?- Qui-Gon poked.

Obi-Wan didn't know how they got food ready being so distracted by the rug pulling, back-stabbing war. Somehow they did, though, and they sat to eat what was literally a feast.

-Mace, I have as much dirt on you as you have on me; you'd better remember it.- Qui-Gon stated as he passed plates to his two companions.

Obi-Wan tasted his first spoonful and slowly sighed appreciatively, closing his eyes. Before this day, he hadn't known what good food was, he swore. If the Force became food, it'd taste exactly like this.

He was just about to get his second bite when he fixed his eyes on Master Windu in front of him. The Master, having hurt his hands, couldn't grab the utensils and was maneuvering them with the Force. However, the councilor had a scowl on his face and seemed to concentrate hard to very slowly get food on his fork.

Obi-Wan scowled at this too. Master Windu was a councilor, second in command to Master Yoda and known to be one of the most powerful Jedi alive. He shouldn't have so many troubles to feed himself. There were some medicines that numbed the affected members, which was great, but had the side effect of altering one's connection to the Force. Obi-Wan squinted before cautiously grabbing the Force and examining Master Windu.

Oh, yes. There was something going on in there. Obi-Wan retreated from the Force and observed the giveaways of being tired, hurt, in pain and unstable in the Force. He sighed and closed his eyes and berated himself for what he was about to do. He didn't want to, he risked being scolded for what could be perceived as disrespect, but he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he stayed quiet.

-Master Windu, would you like some help?- he whispered mortified.

Both Masters, yet again, froze. Obi-Wan felt himself reddening.

-I mean no disrespect- he hurriedly said- meds can alter one's connection to the Force, it's happened to me.-

Obi-Wan wished they would react or something, the silence and staring was killing him. Could he die from embarrassment?

-Yes, Obi-Wan. I could use some help.- the dark skinned councilor finally said.

The padawan rose from his seat and rounded the table. He carefully took the fork and knife and began to cut meat and veggies fully aware of Qui-Gon staring with his fork half way up. Obi-Wan tightened his jaw and took the first spoonful to Mace.

-Thank you- Windu said once he swallowed. Obi-Wan bowed his head briefly.

-My friend Reeft is a Dresselian. Having food in front of him and not being able to eat it would be the ultimate torture-

Mace nodded as he chew, noticing that Qui-Gon had finally unfreeze himself and was eating without moving his eyes from his plate.

-Your food will grow cold.- the councilor pointed as Obi-Wan calmly continued to help him.

-I'll reheat. Reeft broke his arm when we were seven. He tried to eat Force-aid too but he just spilled food everywhere and loosing food is terrible for him. Bant helped him until he healed, even if she was hungry. She taught me compassion, you're teaching me humbleness. My meal can wait.-

Qui-Gon, listening to this, swallowed hard. He felt the Force suddenly in his chest, warming it a little. He didn't need that, though. He could identify, without any help, the heart of a true Jedi.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello, dear readers. Long wait, but I finally made it. We have a new chapter! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please leave comments, it's highly appreciated.**

 **Moose (Chap 16): Hi, you made me so immensely happy with your comment. I'm glad you think this is so well done, I've really given it my best. I love heart crushing Hurt/Comfort but I don't enjoy it when things are pushed far too much and portray Qui-Gon as evil, for one. I wanted to try to keep both him and Obi-Wan as Jedi, without it being too cold or too cheesy. Sometimes I'm not happy with what I wrote and try to get better but even then I love this, it's been quite a learning experience as a writer… Thanks for commenting, I really appreciate it :D**

It took a week for Master Windu to fully heal and another one to have his apartment habitable again. Today would be the last day the Councilor would be with them and that made Obi-Wan slightly melancholic that morning. It had been nice to have Master Mace with them. He was certainly good at mediating, for he made it easier to interact with Qui-Gon by redirecting subjects and filling spaces that would have remained awkwardly silent otherwise.

As Obi-Wan continued to dress himself for the day, he remembered the talks they had at night. They had infinite discussions were they exchanged ideas and generally enjoyed the bliss of acquiring some new knowledge. As Obi-Wan had loaned his bed to the Master and taken a mattress on the floor they were able to hold debate until late. Their friendship had deepened considerably.

"You knew the exercise was controversial at best" the dark skinned Jedi had tried to assess the cool water episode one night.

"I didn't come back to disrespect Master Qui-Gon again" Obi-Wan remembered answering and got a grave nod in return.

As he clipped his 'saber to his belt, Obi-Wan smiled at all the midnight nibbles that accompanied their nightly philosophical sessions. "Why didn't I think of this when I was your age?" Master Mace had said when Obi-Wan showed him a satchel full of all kind of snacks.

The Councilor was a stern man but was a generous teacher and a kind friend. It had been nice to have near an elder Jedi willing to talk.

Coming into the Living Room, he found Master Windu speaking with the holo image of Master Tahl. She was wise as she was funny and happened to have his friend Bant as padawan; he was really glad to see her.

-We will be coming back today, the treaties are finally established and… Oh, Qui! I was about to ask for you.-

-Hello, Tahl.- Master Qui-Gon smiled gently as he sat on the sofa.- so, mission ready…-

-Mace, I'm a bit far from there, would you…?- Master Tahl disregarded the previous inquiry.

Upon request, Windu dug his hands in Qui-Gon's carefully combed hair and began to make a mess of it.

-Qui! So good to see you! Long time no see…!- tried as he might, Master Qui-Gon was unable to escape Mace. Even if he got away from the hands, the Councilor called the Force for aid.

They didn't seem to care about frivolity just then. Matter of fact, the three where laughing wholeheartedly.

Obi-Wan chuckled at this; he had never seen such carefree attitude in Jedi Masters. As he witnessed the abuse to his Master's beloved hair and his unrestricted amusement, he thanked the Force for giving his Master such friends. Maybe him, Bant, Garen and Reeft would be able to be the light in the dark for each other throughout the years. Maybe he would be able to pick them up instead of letting people down for once.

The thought made him lose the grin. If Qui-Gon needed picked up it was due to his own padawan's stupidity, meaning Obi-Wan's himself. If only he hadn't strayed… but that made him admire his Master even more, for beyond skill in the battle field or in the Negotiation tables, Qui-Gon had never waver in the Path and hadn't let the pain take his kindness away. Such was the Master's wisdom and the young padawan wished only to be as wise as his Master.

-Oh, Obi-Wan- Master Tahl caught sight of him- Bant wanted to greet you.-

Master Tahl made a bit of room for the Mon Cal to appear in scene too.

-Masters- she nodded politely as if Qui-Gon's messy mane was a normal attribute.- Hi, Obi.-

-Bant- Obi-Wan smiled widely.- it's good to see you.-

-I read your message.- Bant said sweetly- will you leave me a bit of the nice dessert you cooked?-

-I made plans. I'm eating that for lunch, sorry.- Obi-Wan said completely serious, but hiding behind mental shields. He'd been cooking with Qui-Gon for the last couple of weeks. No words were exchanged but he treasured the episodes and tried not to make a big deal out of it.

Qui-Gon, however, had frowned at the perceived vileness as he finished resettling his hair. He was about to reprimand for avarice and gluttony when he heard Bant laughing.

-So you've already saved something for me.-

-I had a vision yesterday about you getting on a ship. I thought it better to take precautions.- Bant smiled at him.

-I'm sorry, but we need to get on board.- Tahl intervened.

-Have a safe flight, may the Force be with you.- Master Mace answered, his serious persona back in place.

-See you soon.- and the transmission was gone.

-Ready, Qui?- Mace said. Qui-Gon took a second to compose. He looked a bit out of sorts for some reason.

-Oh, yes. Obi-Wan, the Council has requested a meeting. We are to part in ten minutes.- the padawan nodded and hurried to get his breakfast down by then.

As the padawan ate, Qui-Gon sat in the rug near the plants on the corner of the room and prepared to release the turmoil that had recently arouse in him.

So, Obi-Wan had a sarcastic sense of humor. He released the guilt he felt for having judged the boy incorrectly before. Once again, he saw the need to get to really know his padawan, to talk to him. But for some silly reason he was somehow unwilling to go and say "so, any personal confession to share, padawan?"

But that was not the heart of the problem, was it? It was not the talk but what it would mean. If they have a talk, he would have to let down his shields. They would get close.

Avoiding that had once been his purpose in life.

But Obi-Wan deserved to be listened. The boy had earned his trust, he owed the boy to be treated fairly.

-Qui, are you coming?- Mace's voice brought him back to present.

He stood up, got his cloak and made way to the Council Chambers with the other two.

Obi-Wan took then a step behind and two to the right of his Master as tradition dictated for solemn occasions as Council Meetings. It was respectful, it meant that the padawan followed his Master and learnt from him at all times; he had a privileged position to observe everything his Master did. It also made it easier for his Master to protect him should the need arrived.

It had been very telling when they came back from Melida/Daan and Qui-Gon had stood completely apart from him as they met with the Council. No protection, no learning, no respect.

Obi-Wan gulped and brought his attention back to present. It wouldn't do to be distracted in front of the revered Masters.

-Few months ago, I'm sure you remember, you were without a transport in Zao'Daen after successfully negotiating peace back into the planet. It was then when ambassador Madaky offered assistance.- Master Mundy recapitulated.

Obi-Wan noticed Qui-Gon going from normal calm to carefully-constructed-calm.

"So that's how it's going to be" Obi-Wan mentally sighed.

-It was brought to our attention that afterwards there was some strange data sent to the Temple and it kept that way until Master Rhara and her padawan were assigned to it and discovered coded dialogue and coordinates.- Master Gallia continued.

Obi-Wan's eyebrows popped up. It seemed that Garen had been indeed busy.

-How strange.- Qui-Gon agreed, sounding perfectly innocent.- I'm sure the Council will find some use to the inf…-

-You placed a tracking device without reason or authorization - Master Mace snapped.

-It was a modified data-pad, actually.- Qui-Gon clarified, all discretion aside.

-Illegal procedure, non-the-less. - Master Yoda pointed.

-It proved that the ambassador was indeed involved in slavery, as suspected, which is prohibited in Republican worlds.- Qui-Gon stated.

-Regardless of that, you broke the rules yet again.- Mace said severely- the ship is currently held as evidence, you will go to the Hangars and reverse whatever it was you did and you will clean it head to toe for good measure.-

-We need not remind you of the consequences of this should it be discovered. The Order operates based on the trust, imagine if limitation of our range of action arrives due to this.- Master Mundi added.

-But we cannot accommodate ourselves to keep working, it's illogical- Qui-Gon fumed.

-The Force would have provided another way.- Mace refuted.- Isn't that what you say to your padawan?-

-Obi-Wan was not involved in this- Qui-Gon argued hotly.

-He will also submitted to this because he was with you at the moment and also as a reminder that your actions affect others.- Mace ruled.

-But…-

-Masters, if I may.- Obi-Wan took a step forward and bowed, inserting himself artfully in the discussion- I understand that the Council insists upon attention to detail when it comes to duty. If so, by not paying close attention to my Master's actions, as a padawan should, I too incurred in a fault. I extend my apologies to all and take my rightful place in this situation, at my Master's side.-

Obi-Wan bowed to Qui-Gon without missing that suddenly the room was silent. He felt his ears reddening.

But the Council was not displeased, quite the contrary. The boy had just averted a new argument with the Temple's resident maverick and they all share a peculiar vision on that very second. Instead of a young padawan, they saw a bearded man standing in his place. He had a certain grace about him, the Force was with him and by so he remained at peace in dire situations.

Negotiator, the Force whispered.

And then Obi-Wan sneezed and the image was gone.

Mace cleared his throat discreetly. He looked to his right and Master Yoda returned the look, happy eyes shining.

-May the Force be with you- he softly said.

And off they went.

Few minutes later, brushes and screwdrivers in hand, they contemplated the personification of their current quest. Could the ship be any dirtier? It seemed as if it had crashed in Dagobah, it was absolutely muddy and thoroughly dusty.

-We'll never finish cleaning this.- Obi-Wan muttered.

Qui-Gon sighed soundlessly and led the way in.

They worked diligently in the cockpit. Qui-Gon had around him, on the floor, all kind of screwdrivers and pliers.

-This is far easier to put in than out.- the Master reflected, finally breaking his extended silence. He pondered that the Council, namely Mace alone, probably knew the hardship the task would entail.

-Well, it's easier to dirt the bantha than to get it clean again.- Obi-Wan responded somewhere behind him. The boy seemed to be fighting a particularly stubborn grease blot.

Qui-Gon stopped his dismantling business.

-Thank you for your intervention. I'm sorry I got you here.-

A loud splash was heard behind him, it sounded suspiciously as if a bucket of water had been knocked over.

Oppressive silence grew around them.

-It was a good cause.- Obi-Wan whispered.

Was the good cause to cut his irate words or to stop the slave driver? Probably both, Qui-Gon reflected. The boy was so good with words, he knew. He would be a good negotiator in the future.

 _The_ Negotiator, the Force whispered cryptically in his ear.

Qui-Gon inquired upon the meaning of this, but as he got a smug negative from the mystical thing, he continued to try to get under a thick piece of metal that hide one of the cables he needed to cut. He'd done a good job, really. He could congratulate himself, it was so hard to spot and even harder to remove his little spy friend.

And even if the dismantling was hard, it wasn't more difficult than to _really_ talk to Obi-Wan. Last few days they had talked about spoons, lightsaber crystals and the boy's momentarily confusion with healing arts. But the real conversation they needed just didn't flow. Just thinking about it made him tense.

But suddenly, the tension was no more.

-Oh, hello!- Qui-Gon said happily, getting by so Obi-Wan's attention.

-Master?- the padawan said cautiously.

A lizard? Obi-Wan scowled as he saw the little specimen in his Master's colossal hands.

-You're malnourished but we'll correct that, won't we?- Qui-Gon cooed gently as he stroke the animal under its head, just in its glottalis bag.

-Eh, Master… you're talking to a lizard.- Obi-Wan doubtfully said.

-An Alderaanian lizard.- Qui-Gon specified.- And it's alive, isn't it? It's a Force life form.-

-A pathetic life form.- escaped the boy's lips.

Qui-Gon's severe gaze served to silence the boy.

It _looked_ a bit pathetic, Qui-Gon had to accept. The gray scales were pale and lifeless and the skin seemed too big for the little body.

-You just need some care, you will be back to your magnificent self soon enough.- Qui-Gon assured the being before placing it in his pocket.

Obi-Wan observed this from afar. His Master really hadn't like his comment and he had regretted it the second he said it, (why had he said it?!) but he didn't understand. Why would anyone care for a tiny disheveled lizard?

 _Because no one else would've given it a second thought._

Obi-Wan grabbed the Force and carefully directed it at the reptile. It took him a few seconds but finally found it. There it was, insignificant and almost unheeded: a tiny throb of the Living Force.

Obi-Wan retreated.

His Master had listened to it. Such communion was commendable.

Listening, compassion, bravery to confront criticism.

A lecture wouldn't have left such a strong impression.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello, dear readers. I am uploading an improved version of this chap. I truly believe it's beneficial for the story, I'll try to get you a brand new chapter soon.**

 **Dear MJ Guest: Your review made me extremely happy, thank you for commenting.**

It took them two whole weeks to fully clean the ship. Not a minute of those days had gone to waste, so desperate were they to finish the task. However, as they began to coincide more and more and kept working until the wee hours of day, perspective changed. It became a pet project of sorts, where no one talked but were able to relish in each other's presence.

For Qui-Gon it had been particularly enlightening. He'd become acquainted with the tightness in Obi-Wan's jaw whenever he concentrated and that happened _a lot._ The boy threw himself in whatever task he undertook, he was quite intense about things but he tried to disguise interest. Dear Force, did he try it. He was the absolute role model for "all talk, no bite." Why, just this morning he'd woken up to see _his_ lizard being pet and fed by the boy. Just the day before, Obi-Wan had spoken about it as if he would never come a parsec near the reptile.

-Today is rather chilly, I'll leave this light on so you get some warmth.- Obi-Wan said as he pushed towards the animal whatever he was feeding it and carefully caressed the being's tiny head.

It was touching and amusing to see this, but also rather worrying. The padawan continued to bottle up his emotions. It might be hypocritical of him to point it out, but he knew better than anyone how dangerous this was.

It made Qui-Gon nervous. If Obi-Wan paid close attention to him, and he knew the boy did, then the boy was assuming that emotion was shameful in a Jedi and tried to hide it or ignore it. But Jedi had emotions, they were natural and even healthy, they only needed to be addressed correctly.

All this, of course, brought him to his everlasting problem: he himself needed to put ancient wisdom to good use. If he did, then the boy would follow and learn to do it too.

And so, Qui-Gon marched bravely towards the Room of Thousand Fountains to endure a very difficult meditation. For years he had meditated without going deep, feeling undeserving of the Force's consolation and fearing recrimination. He did the last on his own quite strongly already.

As he continued to walk, he drew a deep shaky breath to try to relax, but he immediately felt his inner pocket move against him.

-I'm sorry- Qui-Gon muttered as he reached up to extract a ruffled and annoyed lizard. The tiny being hadn't appreciated the squashing and he detected it's complain quite clearly in the Force.

Reaching the Force for strength to keep on his way, he continued with a steady pace. In his left hand he delicately held the tiny reptile to avoid crushing it again, and in his right one he carried a little suit case with all he needed to keep working on his new lightsaber. He'd started months ago but he was somehow stuck; nothing seemed to work and the sword remained unfinished. It was quite frustrating.

As being bumped over.

-M' sowy.- the tiny voice rose from somewhere near his knee. Looking down Qui-Gon found what looked to be a four year old rodian child.

Qui-Gon was about to speak when some near bushes moved, the child gasped and ran towards a big rock to take cover. Two seconds later a Mon. Cal. youngling emerged from the bushes. The child, upon seeing him, giggled before quickly running after an enso girl who had raised her head from her rooted refuge to spy her surroundings.

Qui-Gon grinned slightly. Now that he'd entered the Room of Thousand Fountains and paid attention to his surroundings, he could feel quite a lot of tiny life forms running about in a game of Freeze. Master Yoda brought them to 'play', the philosophy behind it being that if it "feels scary" then it could paralyze you, the dark freezes the soul. And so, the Room came to life with the children's excitement through the Force.

He became another player in a way. Reaching the Force for awareness, dodging and even jumping over the young Jedi, he continued to make way to his planting site as of late. It was where he and Obi-Wan had gardened some time ago. It was more and more exciting to be near the seeds, for after five weeks, they were just about to sprout.

Just as he was arriving to the place, something stopped him on his site. Someone was kneeling in there, and it deadly surprised Qui-Gon. It was Obi-Wan, and the boy was... talking.

-… brought here the fertilizer I talked to you about, Master Jenza swears by it. Let's hope you like it; it gives plants a real reason to live, according to her.-

He saw the boy carefully spreading the fertilizer around the soil, cleaning it from weeds and delicately adding water to the mix. He saw then that Obi-Wan stopped and bit his lip, hesitantly placing a hand over the soil. Qui-Gon felt him grab the Force and direct it to the seeds but somehow the boy didn't get any news. 'He doesn't know how', the Master thought. The boy's shoulders dropped.

-I… I don't know if you're still alive, I bet Master Qui-Gon would know 'cause it's his gift but… - he sighed- can you hurry up and show? Otherwise it… it would mean that I've killed you too.-

Killed?! Qui-Gon gasped and felt his insides go cold. He was such an idiot! How didn't he…! Obi-Wan was dealing with loss, with guilt! How did he miss this? There he had been struggling with stupid thoughts when a 13 year old didn't know how to deal with grief. He should have told the boy, those seeds took exactly five weeks to sprout, why didn't he…? Qui-Gon bit back a curse. He had assumed Obi-Wan would feel it; his former padawans had been both attuned to the Living Force but Obi-Wan was…

He didn't see them coming.

Just as he began to walk towards his padawan, suddenly determined to right a wrong, children came running behind him. Upon seeing him, they tried to stop but that only made them trip. Qui-Gon received the impact of three bodies in his legs but, Jedi Master that he was, he quickly made a controlled fall… and pain exploded.

But it was not his pain nor the children's, for he had made sure to spare them.

The lizard's body was broken.

Ruckus broke loose behind him. Startled, Obi-Wan made quick way towards it completely unprepared to what awaited him.

The scene was completely heartbreaking. There were crying children and ruffled crèche Masters, and Qui-Gon. Dear Force, Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon was sitting on the trail uncharacteristically disheveled, violently trembling from head to toe, his eyes fixed on his hand and the expression of utterly heart-retching pain firmly planted on his face. Obi-Wan's heart missed a beat. The lizard, their lizard, lay deathly still.

It was agonizing.

It was a tiny being but its pain roared strongly on the Force. Obi-Wan felt like getting sick and crying at the same time. His friend was dying. It had been a constant companion these last few days and now it would be gone. And there was nothing he could do.

He fell on his knees in front of his Master, unable to avert his eyes from the reptile. A sob escaped his lips as the lizard twitched and a thunderstorm of pain hit it. The spinal cord was broken.

Without thinking, Obi-Wan covered the lizard with his hand and very carefully directed the Force towards it. He couldn't fix it, he was not a healer by any means, but he knew how to reduce pain. He held his breath, he'd only have to hold it for a few seconds.

Slowly, very slowly, the heart diminished the rhythm until it stopped.

It was then when Qui-Gon's breath skyrocketed. Obi-Wan blinked his tears away to see his Master's face wet and thoroughly devastated. The padawan had never seen a Master Jedi cry, least of all so strongly. He was so shocked that his own pain was forgotten.

He needed to do something, he thought. The pain from having hurt another was effectively killing his Master, his compassion was just too great. But he couldn't give what he didn't have, so Obi-Wan closed his eyes and quickly let the Force calm him. He could reflect on what had happened later, but he needed a clear view of it all.

Taking a deep soothing breath, the padawan rose slowly to his feet and pulled his Master's hand softly, Qui-Gon just stood without averting his eyes from the lizard. Then, Obi-Wan placed his Master's free hand on his shoulder just as he had done when Master Windu and Yoda put them through the exercise. He guided Qui-Gon a few steps to the planting site and made him kneel.

Obi-Wan took a little shovel and made a hole in the dirt near the place where they had planted the seeds. Then, he grasped his Master's hand and helped him place the tiny body on the grave, before cutting a beautiful flower and covering their friend with its petals.

Qui-Gon's breathing gradually normalized. His padawan's respect and understanding was healing him on many ways, he knew. A Jedi should reflect on the past, but Qui-Gon hadn't done it in the longest of times. Fear, regret and sorrow had frozen him. He had kept a hold on them all and by so he'd allowed them to paralyze his life. Him being present for Master Yoda's class was no coincidence, he could see that now. The Force had taken matters in its own invisible hands, for it knew he needed to revisit the lesson. The Force was trying to shake him awake.

Taking a calming breath, Qui-Gon covered the lizard's body with a layer of soil.

-Rest well, my friend. Thank you for your company.- the Master whispered.

Closing his eyes, he allowed the Force to ease him. A second later, Qui-Gon lip twitched up as he turned to see his padawan next to him. He placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

-You brave child.- the Master whispered, and Obi-Wan's eyes watered.- meditate with me?-

They reached the Force in sync. They helped each other through the tough patches of their meditation and, without noticing, Obi-Wan put the case on his Master's big hands.

It's unnecessary to say that when the meditation was over, they both agreed the newborn 'saber was the most perfect sword any Jedi had ever made.

Qui-Gon was having the best restful sleep he'd had in years. Literally, years. His brain felt pleasantly drowsy, his mind was relaxed for once and the tension was being washed away by the tender care of dreamland.

That's why he didn't feel appreciative toward that annoying pull that was persistently waking him up.

-Humph- he growled as he sleepily buried his head in his pillow to try to suffocate the calling… but the Force was not having any of that.

The Force poked him again impatiently and Qui-Gon was no longer able to keep ignoring it. Grumbling, he sat in his bed and scanned his surroundings to try to discern what the thing was alerting him about.

Yes, there was something going on. It wasn't exactly dangerous, but he perceived something strong. The Force tugged on his mind again, urging him, and he reluctantly got to his feet, lightsaber in hand. Sometimes obedience was tough, but the Force had never let him astray and if he said he was a Force follower, then he had to walk the walk.

Noises started to tickle his ears as soon as he sat foot out of his room. It was coming from Obi-Wan's room. Qui-Gon frowned, snooze suddenly out of his mind, what was the boy doing awake at three in the morning?

Cautiously, he approached the door and leaned, trying to get a hold of what was going on inside the room.

-Yes, just accept there is no way out of this. Resistance is futile, little thing. I'll end your life right now.-

'What the…?' Qui-Gon stared at the door dumbfounded; he felt his stomach doing flips. Now completely alert, he adopted a combative stand and pushed the door opened prepared for the worse.

He didn't found a bloody scene or anything. A paralyzed Obi-Wan gazed at him perched in the room's desk, a look of horror in his face. He was stretching toward the closet, his hand gripping a satchel that lay atop of it.

-What's going on?- Qui-Gon found himself saying, unable to foresee what his voice would cause.

Obi-Wan startled. One hasty move made in a second and the satchel he was clutching became undone, spilling its contents all over the floor.

Snack items. Thousands of them.

Gooey banthas, salty sweet treats, chocolate cereal bars… Qui-Gon had never seen such a collection of teeth rotting junk, the whole rainbow of things stunned him. He couldn't make a count, he couldn't name them all, and he'd definitely never eaten any of those.

It took him a minute to come back from his mental freeze; Obi-Wan seemed to have the ability to constantly shock him. When he finally was able to process the whole thing and focus his eyes on his padawan, he felt something awful in his chest.

Obi-Wan stood on his desk with his head down, absolutely mortified. He seemed to wish the ground would open and swallow him whole. The scene made Qui-Gon gulp.

Obi-Wan's stomach choose to growl in that very second and it only made the boy flush more aggressively, if that was possible.

Qui-Gon understood that very second that he had the power of absolutely crush his padawan's spirit, Obi-Wan stood completely vulnerable in front of him. In fact, a horrible scolding was what his padawan expected to happen.

And Qui-Gon didn't like that one bit.

-So… - the Master started very calmly, but the boy still flinched.- care to share?-

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped dramatically, incredulity showing in his face when his Master relaxed his posture and began to gather all the food with the aid of the Force. The boy's body slowly began to defreeze and was able to finally come down from the desk.

-Aren't you mad?- the boy whispered.

-There's nothing offensive in being hungry, Obi-Wan. Especially if you happen to be a growing boy.-

Speechless, Obi-Wan followed his Master's lead and just sat unceremoniously on the floor, back to the wall, unsure of what to do. His Master was suddenly calm and comfortable exploring the interior of his treasure satchel, not a care in the world. They just began to methodically eat their way through his smuggled goods in silence.

Obi-Wan had dreamed of something like this his whole life. His Master suddenly taking interest in him and just spending some time together, just because they wanted and not because they had to. But it just didn't feel good. It felt awkward.

And didn't Qui-Gon felt the awkwardness. It was impossible to miss it, it was practically streaming out of Obi-Wan after all. He stopped munching on an unexpectedly tasty though non-nutritious hunger killer, and just took a look at his padawan. He'd a half eaten brown bar on his hand, first and only snack item he'd started on and just chewed slowly, unable to get comfortable.

Qui-Gon frowned. Why was the boy so worried about being caught eating in the middle of the night?

-Obi-Wan, what's wrong?- he asked with a sigh. Obi-Wan startled once again before taking a breath to calm down.

-I used to try to break into the kitchens at night when I was younger…- he whispered.

-And?- Qui-Gon crooked an eyebrow.

-And I always got caught.- Obi-Wan said self-consciously.

-Well, no one has been able to get pass Chef Lynch, he gets very serious when protecting his territory. I haven't heard of anyone who's been able to steal food from the kitchens.-

-Yeah…- Obi-Wan didn't elaborate. Qui-Gon frowned again, trying to decide what to do. The Force gave him the equivalent to a nod and counseled him to keep going tactfully. Qui-Gon sighed.

-So, you had a bad experience with Chef Lynch, I take it.- Qui-Gon calmly said, again reminding himself that the Force had never lead him astray. He got his reward when his padawan nodded shyly.

Obi-Wan wriggled and cast a quick look to his Master by the corner of his eye. Qui-Gon was expectantly looking at him. The boy sighed.

-Just got a lot of scolding. Guess feeling bad about it stuck with me.- Qui-Gon nodded, feeling enlightened. Listening calmly was truly worth the effort, he thought.

-Well, don't worry about that now.- Qui-Gon said, casually taking a new bite from his snack, oddly happy for the lesson he'd learnt and the opportunity he had of easing a wrinkle in his padawan's past.

Obi-Wan nodded and smile at this, feeling truly joyful. Who would have known that hunger, his all time enemy, would lead to such a comfortable meeting.


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello, dear readers.. finally we got a new chapter, hope you enjoy it as much as I did.. Please let me know what you think, remember that comments makes us writers incredibly happy :)**

To think that everything would be okay out of the sudden would have been illogical. Thankfully, Obi-Wan hadn't been expecting it to become so.

But things had gotten better, undescribingly so. Why, his Master had just shed some light into his Astrophysics' homework and had showed him how to discern plant's growing patterns. Then again, as stated before, not everything was perfect.

-You really should tell somebody.- Bant broke his line of thought. Her platinum eyes looked at him worriedly as she patched yet another busted lip and black eye.

-I'm responsible for his friend's death, the Order took me back… I can't really blame him for being upset.- Obi-Wan hissed in pain. Bant's favorite cleaning agent stung awfully.

-He is a Jedi and should act like so. If you keep letting him beat you, you are not helping. He needs guidance. Nothing justifies his treatment or you staying quiet.

Obi-Wan didn't answer. Aalto had correctly pointed out that he hadn't received appropriate punishment for his misdeeds. He had gotten his life back, after all. People dead, Qui-Gon betrayed, Council tensed and he still had the chance of becoming a Jedi. No matter how badly he felt or how hard it was to live under suspicion, he had no right to protest.

Without noticing, he bowed his head. It would never be enough. It didn't matter if he spent his whole life trying to make it up, he'd always be carrying the stain of it all. There was no such thing as undoing his mistakes.

-Not only Aalto needs guidance, Obi. You do too.- Bant said quietly.

Obi-Wan raised his eyes to look at her, suddenly noticing that she'd stopped the healing. Her sweet big eyes held worry in them.

-The Force used to be always so happy around you. Now, it's always tense and stressed; but not because it wants to be, but because you won't let it ease you.- Bant took his hand and softly squished it.- Please talk to someone.

-I don't think so, Bant.- Obi-Wan whispered.- I just… can't.-

-Maybe someone who's been there, Obi.- Bant answered delicately.- Talk to Master Qui-Gon.-

Obi-Wan shook his head fiercely and separated their hands.

-Anyone but him.-

-Haven't you noticed how calmer he is? Rumor has it you're the reason. And you know just how his past was eating him away.-

Seeing a stubborn light in his friend's eyes made Bant sighed. She stacked the bandit she'd had in her finger on Obi-Wan's skin.

-If not about your feelings, then about Aalto's actions.-

-I won't be his accuser.- Obi-Wan said hissing again as Bant returned to clean his lip.

-You won't be, that's not the idea. You need to be his fellow Jedi that helps him act like one. Think, this could even earn you a new beat in the braid.- Obi-Wan's crooked eye and smile told Bant that her bribe had been discovered.

-Okay, that would be doing it for the wrong reasons. -She chuckled.- But it still leaves us the fact that Jedi are not meant to ever be aggressive. He is a Jedi and should act like one, help him find his way.-

Obi-Wan laughed bitterly.

-Who am I to try to guide anyone? I have no right.-

-You know what is right, and he's not doing it. Neither are you, in case you were wondering.-

'There is no point in keeping this up', Bant thought. She'd at least been honest with him and the idea was in his friend's mind. She could let it go… For now.

-Are you ready for today's saber class?-

Obi-Wan sighed.

-Not in a million years. I'm set up for ridicule.-

-Don't say that!- Bant replied, another bandit waving in her hand.- you're a great swordsman, that's why you're being promoted.-

-I just can't get it right.- Obi-Wan said frustrated.- I've meditated upon it, I've done research, I've asked advice from hundreds of Masters and it still won't work.-

-Well, then. If that's happening, I'm sure dealing with frustration is part of the exercise.-

Obi-Wan sighed tiredly.

-Could things be achieved the easy way just once?-

Bant laughed freely by his side.

-Now, you know better than that.-

That made Obi-Wan smile.

Swiftly finishing her task, Bant said good bye with a quick hug. She was still on duty on the Hospital Wing for another 20 minutes. That too left Obi-Wan with 20 minutes to agonize on his own before his next saber class. Every time he thought about it his stomach would turn and he'd feel his heart on his throat. He'd been having nightmares about it, even. He'd be in the middle of the Training Salle, hundreds of Jedi surrounding him, and he wouldn't be able to reach even the second phase of the Tiger's kata. Master Drallig would be disappointed, his classmates would laugh, and all the Masters would decide that he was not worthy of becoming a Jedi.

It was a relief that Master Qui-Gon wouldn't be coming, for he was helping Master Windu with a demonstration of the Ataru 'saber form. At least he would only hear of how badly he'd failed, rather than see it for himself. It was a relief because he couldn't stand the idea of seeing Master Qui-Gon's disappointment, not when they were beginning to get along again.

Obi-Wan sighed and left the Room of Thousand Fountains at a slow pace. He walked with his head hung down, resigned to his fate. At least it'd be over soon, he thought.

Eventually, even with his slow pace, he reached the Training Room and was greeted by Master Dralling. Upon shedding off his robe and approaching the dojo, his nervousness began to kick. It wouldn't let him be still, he started to relentlessly pace the edge of the ring, trying to distract himself by warming up, hopping from one foot to the other and twirling his lightsaber obsessively. He could hear the low murmur of the Jedi gathering at the seats, and even though everyone was walking and moving or so, he felt observed. He felt like all the eyes were on him and followed his every move.

Finally, after ages of waiting, Master Drallig stood in the middle of the Room and greeted the Jedi who had arrived to see Obi-Wan's demonstration. He spoke of how whenever a learner made a level change - was assigned to an advanced class - it was customary to say good bye to his group with a skill display that couldn't provoke anything less than joy of seeing what discipline and the Force could do when the Jedi allowed them to act within them.

Obi-Wan wondered how badly people would react when they found there was no skill to see.

There was something, though, that Obi-Wan did see. He didn't want to believe his eyes, though, because it meant torture. However, it was impossible not to notice the distinguishable long haired tall figure of his Master.

Dear Force, please don't.

It was a true struck of luck, Qui-Gon thought as he made quick way to the Training Salles. He had been able to satisfy the curiosity of Mace's seven year olds' class and he had been let out early. Or rather, Qui-Gon chuckled, he had forced Mace's hand. He'd worked hard and fast through Ataru's katas and through the opponents Mace had selected. They had been Knights that had just been released from a recovering stay at the Healers. It had been unfair, really, to set them up against a Master in prime health.

But anyway, he was free to run and support Obi-Wan. The boy's strong shields prevented him from feeling any inner turmoil, but the nervousness could be seen from parsecs away. What Qui-Gon had began to know as teenager's perpetual hunger had turned into voracious appetite in the last few days. Obi-Wan's anxiety levels were so high that the Force trembled in whatever room the boy was in, leaving all surroundings altered upon his leave.

The tall Master had tried to help, really, but Obi-Wan had gone into a hermetic lock up and wouldn't let anyone near him. Oh, he was not disrespectful about it, quite the contrary. The boy would excuse himself very politely and meditate his brains out on his own, and as he combined meditation with saber training, no one had been near to see the preparations for his demonstration.

Qui-Gon only wished for Obi-Wan to understand that this was not a trial, but an honor. The Force had been shedding some light upon things, (it was amazing what happened when deep meditation was allowed), and Qui-Gon had learnt that Obi-Wan continued to feel under surveillance, afraid of committing any mistakes. Once this was all over, he'd talk to his padawan about it, of how the Council's release from the Trial period had really meant that he had been "released from all charges." He needed to help Obi-Wan so guilt and fear wouldn't continue to eat him alive.

Feeling exceptionally cheerful, he sat in one of the few seats that remained empty and carefully observed how Cin Drallig ended his speech and a very pale Obi-Wan took his place in the center of the dojo.

Obi-Wan started slowly, with perfect balance and posture, meticulously advancing through the beginning phases. Qui-Gon couldn't believe what he was seeing. Gradually speeding up and increasing strength, Obi-Wan challenged what was expected from a Jedi so young.

It was quite a display of skill, discipline and deep Force knowledge. Qui-Gon knew for a fact that Obi-Wan was very talented, but he hadn't interiorized just how much. For a second, he felt like a father who hadn't really acknowledged his boy was growing, but then an awful realization came to him. He hadn't seen Obi-Wan with a lightsaber in quite a while. Had he really let his fear conquer him so much as to teach everything except 'saber arts?

Suddenly, he saw it. It broke him out of his shocking findings to immerse him in a revelation even more astonishing than the previous combined. Obi-Wan was using his movement. When had the boy seen him do it was as mysterious as the Force itself.

Qui-Gon's eyebrows frowned and the following section. It hadn't been modified, that was not right.

CRASH!

A violent sound of someone falling hard to the floor exploded in the Jedi's ears. Qui-Gon rushed to the curling figure of his padawan, fear clutching his chest. Obi-Wan hadn't seen him finish the kata and so he couldn't know of the final adjustments that had to be made to avoid a colossal and painful fall.

Obi-Wan's face was red and crossed by tears when Qui-Gon uncovered the boy's face.

-Are you alright? Something broken?- the Master asked worriedly. Obi-Wan denied with his head, and Qui-Gon felt himself breathe easily.

-Can you stand?- He asked. Obi-Wan began to move carefully until he was standing again. With pain written in his face, he bent over to respectfully pick up his 'saber from the floor.

-I'm sorry for embarrassing you.- the boy whispered. Qui-Gon shook his head strongly.

-You haven't failed me in the slightest, padawan.- the Master said out loud.- quite the contrary.-

Obi-Wan looked at him with disbelieve. Qui-Gon folded his arms over his chest solemnly, finding the boy's blue eyes with his own.

-Every Jedi that undertakes the study of the Tiger's kata finds a section that just doesn't get along with the other sections, no matter how hard they try.- Qui-Gon paused to gather his thoughts.- Several Masters have created solutions throughout time, however most of them have been forgotten and young Jedi nowadays pick between two solutions that have been active for the last eight hundred years. One is the movement created by Master Yoda, the other created by Master Windu. You preferred my movement… I'm deeply honored.-

Obi-Wan's eyes widened, but Qui-Gon continued calmly.

-I have been the only user of my solution since the day I created it. I designed unique adjustments for the final phase. You had no way of knowing that, nor that other Masters would be unable to help.-

Qui-Gon unplugged his recently completed lightsaber and began to instruct and demonstrate as if he hadn't stopped teaching five years ago. Oh, he had taught Force techniques and theory, but 'saber? Not since Xanatos.

It was liberating. He felt himself smile, even.

-You need to adjust your hold of the saber, otherwise you do awkward moves to avoid dropping it or cutting your head off, and you end up compromising your body's moves. Eventually, the inconsistency leads to falling. I suggest that, as you left foot touches the floor, take advantage of the stability and regain a better grasp of the hilt, and by so, regain balance.-

The presence of the audience had been long forgotten. In restrained awe, these Jedi were respectful witnesses to a Jedi Master instructing his young pupil. They took delight in the lesson well taught, wisdom and patience well built. They contemplated the first attempts of Obi-Wan to follow his Master's instructions, eventually achieving what rarely was accomplished by a padawan so young: complete master of a Knight level kata at plain sight for everyone to see. At the end of the lecture, both padawan and Master blinked at the audience that had tripled its size and that had been enjoying the display. At one side, Master Yoda and Windu serenely smiled at the Force's good work.

But it didn't matter if half the Temple was present, no one enjoyed this more than Obi-Wan himself.


End file.
